{"id":1247,"date":"2025-07-14T19:06:10","date_gmt":"2025-07-14T19:06:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/?p=1247"},"modified":"2026-01-20T18:32:50","modified_gmt":"2026-01-20T18:32:50","slug":"narcissist-eyes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-eyes\/","title":{"rendered":"The Hidden Meaning Behind the Narcissist Eyes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_1995\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1995\" style=\"width: 1024px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-1995 size-large\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Blogs-Cover-Photos-7-1024x576.png\" alt=\"The Hidden Meaning Behind the Narcissist Eyes\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Blogs-Cover-Photos-7-1024x576.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Blogs-Cover-Photos-7-300x169.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Blogs-Cover-Photos-7-768x432.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Blogs-Cover-Photos-7-1536x864.png 1536w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Blogs-Cover-Photos-7-2048x1152.png 2048w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Blogs-Cover-Photos-7-150x84.png 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-1995\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">The Hidden Meaning Behind the Narcissist Eyes<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you first look into a narcissist&#8217;s eyes upon your first meeting, you will be drawn to the way they look almost inside of you. You just want to melt into them. They use narcissist eyes as a tool to work out how to dominate and control you. They look at you with a sense of superiority and control, that feels like loving admiration when trapped in the gaze of the narcissist&#8217;s eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They are sizing up what tactic to use to gain control of you. Analyzing what tactic, they need to use from their arsenal to gain full power over your thoughts, actions, and feelings. What do you need to hear to believe that they are the most important person in the world?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>When narcissist eyes are dissecting you. They can make you feel like they are hanging on every word you say. Like you are the most important thing to them. They are most likely using other tools like love bombing but damn the narcissist eyes are just captivating.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissistic abuse can be anywhere, know the signs to avoid falling into the narcissistic trap of abuse.\u00a0 You may be able to spot it right away by simply looking at the way someone looks at you. And it is even said that the narcissist eyes turn black, wouldn&#8217;t that make them easier to identify?<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-1628\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/3e7f7601-7953-4d55-8c9d-c52c92e1db70-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"a close up of a person's eyes looking through a magnifying glass\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/3e7f7601-7953-4d55-8c9d-c52c92e1db70-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/3e7f7601-7953-4d55-8c9d-c52c92e1db70-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/3e7f7601-7953-4d55-8c9d-c52c92e1db70-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/3e7f7601-7953-4d55-8c9d-c52c92e1db70-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/3e7f7601-7953-4d55-8c9d-c52c92e1db70-2048x1365.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/3e7f7601-7953-4d55-8c9d-c52c92e1db70-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/h2>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_81 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-eyes\/#Why_Are_Narcissist_Eyes_So_Distinctive\" >Why Are Narcissist Eyes So Distinctive?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-eyes\/#How_Narcissists_Use_Eye_Contact_for_Manipulation\" >How Narcissists Use Eye Contact for Manipulation<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why_Are_Narcissist_Eyes_So_Distinctive\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why Are Narcissist Eyes So Distinctive?<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They stare at you with those narcissist eyes. It feels like a loving look, but the stare is sizing you up. You are not there to be adored and loved. You are there to be studied. How do they get what they want from you with the least effort? And the narcissist eyes are the camera for their recon.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You feel adored and loved one moment and then when you actually look it almost appears that they are trying to turn a key to get into your mind and take control. Which is exactly what they are doing. With the narcissist eyes as a key into your deepest secrets, they know have power.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This look of theirs is now known as the narcissistic stare. As you are manipulated into thinking it\u2019s a loving gaze, they are already working on the next gas light, or the next future fake that they are going to hook you in with. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissists have to keep their supply available and while they are staring, they are ensuring you will continue to fill their needs. They are now using those narcissist eyes as keys again, not unlocking your secrets but locking you up with chains of imprisonment.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-1629\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/ad31dc68-d691-4970-a9ea-53c9a959fa93-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"a close up of a person's eyes\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/ad31dc68-d691-4970-a9ea-53c9a959fa93-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/ad31dc68-d691-4970-a9ea-53c9a959fa93-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/ad31dc68-d691-4970-a9ea-53c9a959fa93-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/ad31dc68-d691-4970-a9ea-53c9a959fa93-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/ad31dc68-d691-4970-a9ea-53c9a959fa93-2048x1366.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/ad31dc68-d691-4970-a9ea-53c9a959fa93-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/h3>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Psychological Meaning Behind a Narcissist\u2019s Stare<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The narcissist has learned that if they want to convey superiority and establish control of you, the narcissists eyes need to look you dead in your eyes and lie because they already unlocked your insecurities, while you thought you had been in a loving eye locked daze.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now they can stare deeply with their narcissist eyes and lock you into a place of inferiority. They are using their stare\/daze tactic to lock this new belief into you. They also learned that prolonged eye contact can make you one of two ways.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Constant stares with a narcissist&#8217;s eyes can start to either make you feel uneasy, like you&#8217;re in trouble or did something wrong or captivated like you are learning something new<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After experiencing this intimidation and reprograming enough. You start to have it imbedded in your brain like you know the narcissist eyes are constantly on you no matter where you are or what you&#8217;re doing. Somehow the narcissists eyes are following you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are completely captivated by the narcissist&#8217;s eyes, in which you hang on every word. It helps to lay the groundwork to get you to this heightened mental status so that you completely absorb whatever bullshit they are trying to gaslight you with today.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t get me wrong, there are tender loving eye locks out there, but you have to be cautious of the narcissist eyes It is like looking straight into medusa\u2019s face. You become captivated and destroyed. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In a loving, tender, heartfelt gaze, you feel warm, loved, cared for. Not guilty or like you&#8217;re learning instructions for your new job. Or reprogrammed like I have to make steak for dinner in order to get that loving gaze from them. Got it.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-1630\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/207eb73c-ecf4-4715-bc0d-68b750095201-1024x682.jpg\" alt=\"a collage of different colored eyes\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/207eb73c-ecf4-4715-bc0d-68b750095201-1024x682.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/207eb73c-ecf4-4715-bc0d-68b750095201-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/207eb73c-ecf4-4715-bc0d-68b750095201-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/207eb73c-ecf4-4715-bc0d-68b750095201-1536x1023.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/207eb73c-ecf4-4715-bc0d-68b750095201-2048x1364.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/207eb73c-ecf4-4715-bc0d-68b750095201-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/h3>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Different Types of Narcissistic Stare and Their Hidden Intentions<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">a) The Predatory Stare<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They can use their narcissist eyes to look you dead in your eyes not even blinking, like they are in a daze, As they gaze into your soul to find your deepest darkest secrets that they can use to gain control of you<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The psychological effect of that stare is that you feel like this person with these narcissist eye qualities knows you better than you know yourself because you are now convinced that they can see in you the things you cannot see. And you now trust them to help you fix what you didn\u2019t know was wrong with you.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">b) The Empty, Lifeless Stare<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A narcissist eyes will appear emotionless in their stares, like they are there but not there. So deep in thought without feeling. You can almost picture them trying to do an algebra problem in their mind while you are staring lovingly into the narcissist&#8217;s eyes. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It has been said that they could honestly be sleeping with their narcissist eyes wide open, and it is apparent in their gaze. The narcissist&#8217;s eyes are working double time trying to keep you locked in and giving them what they need at the same time.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you start to notice this is happening in the conversation. You want to be aware of what is actually going on in their minds not locked in by the narcissist eyes listen to their words as well. They are wrestling with their insecurity and emptiness and how you are going to fix it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They are focusing with narcissist eyes zeroed in on what they need from you and how they are going to lock you into improving their self-image, lifestyle and overall happiness. Never has the narcissist eyes focused on what you need, only their misleading words did that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">c) The Seductive Stare<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is a grooming habit that as a victim you will feel the narcissist eyes are expressing the passion you have been longing for. The narcissist eyes seem as if they are about to give you everything you&#8217;ve wanted for ever.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">50 shades showed us, we all want that passion, and even dominance, in a healthy way. But the Narcissist is letting you feel that passion building up allowing them to gain control and dominance. Like leading you to the red room, but never getting the pleasure.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once you\u2019ve let down your guard and succumbed to the passion you perceive in the narcissist eyes knowing that they want what\u2019s best for you. They are just as passionate about you as you are about them. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They want to protect you and please you. It&#8217;s all right there in the narcissist eyes.\u00a0 They are the only person in the world that cares for you this intensely. WAKE UP!!!!! You were just groomed into being submissive anytime they wanted and not romantically.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>What until the day you have to start giving them regular pedicures. It&#8217;s for their diabetes. At first as you gaze lovingly into the narcissist eyes, you feel the appreciation they have for your help. But as time goes one the narcissist eyes are now watching TV, demanding you do better at your task.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">d) The Rage-Filled Stare<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Oh, but when you make a mistake. Now it is time to invoke fear to further instill their dominance. They don\u2019t even need to use words. This stare is so defined. This is where you might see the narcissist eyes actually start to appear to turn black.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Once you see your narcissists eyes with a rage filled stare you want to crawl begging for forgiveness. You manifest guilt for something like, cutting their skin during their pedicure. The look in the narcissist eyes when you have failed is demoralizing to say the least. Scary for sure.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It makes you feel a sense of fear and disappointment in yourself. You feel like you just lost everything you have ever worked for in your whole life, and destroyed your entire future, possibly ending any chance at world peace, <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The power of the narcissist eyes and how they pierce into you is real, It starts as a pin hole and by the time the narcissist&#8217;s eye needles pierce you enough. The narcissist has created a full-size door opening into your mind.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes, I know this sounds comical and a little extreme, but honestly this is the best way I can describe it from experience. No words are even necessary, it\u2019s just in the narcissist eyes and the way they look at you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-1631\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/0a2b22ca-e6d2-4b68-befc-eef9925163b1-1024x682.jpg\" alt=\"a close up of a person's eyes\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/0a2b22ca-e6d2-4b68-befc-eef9925163b1-1024x682.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/0a2b22ca-e6d2-4b68-befc-eef9925163b1-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/0a2b22ca-e6d2-4b68-befc-eef9925163b1-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/0a2b22ca-e6d2-4b68-befc-eef9925163b1-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/0a2b22ca-e6d2-4b68-befc-eef9925163b1-2048x1365.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/0a2b22ca-e6d2-4b68-befc-eef9925163b1-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/h2>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_Narcissists_Use_Eye_Contact_for_Manipulation\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How Narcissists Use Eye Contact for Manipulation<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Gaslighting\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you were a child and your parents caught you in a lie, remember the first thing out of their mouth? \u201cLook me in the eyes and tell me the truth.\u201d We were raised knowing that if someone looked you straight in the eyes, they were telling the truth,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I mean no one can lie to you if they maintain eye contact. Meet the narcissist. The narcissists eyes can maintain their focus, like it&#8217;s a normal conversation, while they are lying straight to your face about something obvious, like the sky is green or no I didn&#8217;t sleep with your friend.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissists mastered this lesson; they had to if they wanted people to believe the things they were saying. Otherwise, how would the world know how superior they are if the narcissists eyes couldn&#8217;t keep locked with the victims while they told their lies.<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Silent intimidation<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In order for the narcissist to maintain control, they need to work hard all the time. Using Silent intimidating glances is a less labor-intensive method. You can literally see the disappointment in a narcissist eye when they have not been pleased.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This provides you, the victim, with a constant reminder that the narcissists eyes are constantly on you to ensure you please them and make sure they are happy. This glance or stare also is subtle enough that no one else in the room will notice. They don&#8217;t want to look bad.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Read more in\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-and-t\u2026silent-treatment\/ \u200e\">Narcissist and the Silent Treatment: How to Recognize, Respond and Reclaim Your Voice<\/a><\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Grooming and love bombing<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Every girl dreams of the charming prince that is going to sweep her off her feet Gazing lovingly into each other&#8217;s eyes with your first kiss. And then ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The narcissist knows this story, and they know how to tell you the next chapter of how happily ever after you guys are going to be. As you are lost in your daze in the narcissist&#8217;s eyes. He spins you tales of all the pleasure but doesn&#8217;t mention the pain.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He might even bring you a pumpkin saying how it will turn into the carriage but honey it\u2019s going to rot on your countertop. Then they\u2019ll tell you how that was the plan, now that the pumpkin rotted let&#8217;s take the seeds and grow 100\u2019s of pumpkins, and then those rot.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But as you&#8217;re in Lala land lost in the narcissist&#8217;s eyes. they just keep promising bigger, and you will be told of the signs that it\u2019s going the way they say, but if you take a minute to analyze the facts. You will realize that you have a rotting mess on your hands.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-1632\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/58c55954-8606-47a1-b64d-1d0b23c95628-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"a man standing in front of a glowing light\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/58c55954-8606-47a1-b64d-1d0b23c95628-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/58c55954-8606-47a1-b64d-1d0b23c95628-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/58c55954-8606-47a1-b64d-1d0b23c95628-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/58c55954-8606-47a1-b64d-1d0b23c95628-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/58c55954-8606-47a1-b64d-1d0b23c95628-150x100.jpg 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/58c55954-8606-47a1-b64d-1d0b23c95628.jpg 2044w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/h3>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Understanding and Responding to Narcissistic Manipulation and Intimidation<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Never, if possible, have any type of power struggle, or advise of a mistake where the narcist eyes will be in contact with yours. If they can lock you in, you already know they will, while they manipulate the facts.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If this cannot be avoided, and you have to communicate with the narcissist eye to eye. Maintain a neutral expression, have clear boundaries, communicate assertively and never let them see you blink or waiver or even question yourself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You already know the narcissist eye games, and they know what they can accomplish by looking in your eyes. And you have to be able to be aware of this and the other tactics they use, or you are right back into their trap.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You will notice and so will the narcissist when they do not have their narcissistic eye power. This is like kryptonite so be prepared for every reason why this style of communication won\u2019t work for them. The narcissist eye contact is needed to ensure you believe what they have to say.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By beginning to black rock in this fashion it starts to rebuild your strength. It may be a small at first. They want to meet face to face to discuss something that you could discuss via text. The idea here is you have into the narcissist eyes so you can get hooked. It&#8217;s always worked before.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It might be a small item at first, like maybe instead of meeting to talk about the phone bill and settling it. You exchange texts and apple cash. And as you reprogram yourself eventually you can say the word \u201cNO\u201d to even the narcissist eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">*Warning \u2013 Do not let the narcissist know you know this word until you are powerful enough to stand behind it, if you show any weakness, they will know that your NO is soft, and their tactics will continue and could intensify*\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><b>After you have accomplished your first hard NO and made it stick, I think it\u2019s a requirement to celebrate and do something special to celebrate this milestone.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now it\u2019s time to open the narcissist eyes. And take back your power. And w<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">hile there are ways to communicate to help guide a conversation to a solution. A Narcissist\u2019s only solution ever is themselves and their ego. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While communication can be productive tool to most, a narcissist will have the conversation in a circle, where you can\u2019t even find an off-ramp or exit, you honestly aren\u2019t even sure which direction you guys are going in because you are lost in the narcissist&#8217;s eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You have to find a path of a healthy conversation, using facts, while guiding the conversation to a completed circle with an exit plan. And looking the into the narcissist eyes will trap you into losing your path.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When communicating and being subjected to looking in the narcissist eyes, practice writing out what you want to say. Do it several times, reword it as many times as needed, use strategy and facts with no emotion in your writing and do not leave windows for them to question anything.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Let them believe it\u2019s their idea. Look into the narcissist eyes and convince them they thought of the solution you wrote down and the steps to get there. As you look into the narcissist eyes though be aware of the trap that lies within.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If they think it\u2019s your idea, it\u2019s obviously wrong, but if it\u2019s their idea, well they\u2019re a certified genius so of course we should do it, and you can just agree (even though you can celebrate again, you just got your idea through, nice work!)<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-1633\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/72d61bff-f955-49f6-8d7e-925c9070b632-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"a man standing on a rock with a chain and a chain around his neck\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/72d61bff-f955-49f6-8d7e-925c9070b632-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/72d61bff-f955-49f6-8d7e-925c9070b632-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/72d61bff-f955-49f6-8d7e-925c9070b632-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/72d61bff-f955-49f6-8d7e-925c9070b632-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/72d61bff-f955-49f6-8d7e-925c9070b632-2048x1365.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/72d61bff-f955-49f6-8d7e-925c9070b632-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/h3>\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Final Thoughts<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Always be aware and analyze each gaze and stare in the narcissist eyes so you know what you\u2019re working with.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be constantly aware that the narcissist&#8217;s eyes are a tool to inflict the Predatory Stare, <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Seductive Stare, and <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Rage-Filled Stare. When you look into the narcissist eyes which stare do you recognize?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Trust your instincts, and step away to check your instincts and feelings. While being lost in the narcists eyes it can feel like a different version of you. If you are questioning your feelings, make an excuse, regain your composure, step away <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And when you are ready look again into the narcissist eyes and try to convey your feelings again. This time be aware of what happened last time and be cautious of the same pattern. If it happens 3 or more times, it\u2019s time to end the communication in the current pattern.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The narcissist has trained you. If you act differently or if you dare speak against them.\u00a0 You will be informed of your wrong attitude and how you are offending everyone. When they refer to everyone, they are simply referring to the everyone that matters in their mind, THEM.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Always be aware that in the narcissist eyes they are superior, but in the narcissist, eyes also lie their insecurities and the fact that they know if they don&#8217;t control you, they can&#8217;t contain you.<\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you recognize these signs or feel trapped in a narcissistic relationship, please know that you&#8217;re not alone \u2013 and it&#8217;s not your fault.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your healing journey matters, and support is available. Visit themarymcconnell.com for free educational resources, recovery tools, and a community of survivors who understand exactly what you&#8217;re going through.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For immediate help: \u2022 National Domestic Violence Hotline:<\/span><\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> | Ca<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">ll 1-800-799-7233 \u2022 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 \u2022 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your voice matters. If you have additional resources that have helped you, please share them in the comments below \u2013 together we can create a network of support for everyone who needs it.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you dealt with a narcissist? Your story could help someone else recognize the signs or feel less alone. Share your experience in the comments if you feel comfortable doing so.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember: You deserve love that feels safe, not chaotic. You deserve respect, not manipulation. You deserve healing, and it&#8217;s possible. \ud83d\udc99<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Looking for more guidance on narcissism and recovery from narcissistic abuse? Explore our collection of expert articles on recognizing toxic patterns, healing, and reclaiming your confidence. Start your journey to empowerment and emotional freedom with these helpful blog posts.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/why-do-narcissists-want-to-hurt-you\/\">Why Do Narcissists Want to Hurt You: The Truth Behind Their Manipulative Behavior<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-expose-a-narcissist\/\">How to Expose a Narcissist Safely Without Falling Into Their Trap<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/what-does-narc-mean\/\">What Does Narc Mean? A Deep Dive into Narcissism and Its Impact on Relationships<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-and-the-silent-treatment\/\">Narcissist and the Silent Treatment: How to Recognize, Respond and Reclaim Your Voice<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-at-work\/\">Dealing with a Narcissist at Work: 9 Survival Strategies to Protect Your Sanity and Career<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-shut-down-a-narcissist\/\">How to Shut Down a Narcissist: 7 Powerful Responses to Silence Them<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-traits-in-males\/\">Narcissistic Traits in Males: 12 Disturbing Signs You Can\u2019t Ignore<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/do-narcissists-know-they-are-narcissists\/\">Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists? The Truth About Their Self-Perception and Denial<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-does-the-narcissist-feel-when-you-move-on\/\">How Does the Narcissist Feel When You Move On: The Shocking Truth They Don\u2019t Want You to Know!<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/are-narcissists-evil\/\">Are Narcissists Evil or Products of Their Past?<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-love-bombing\/\">Narcissist Love Bombing: How to Spot the Signs Before It\u2019s Too Late<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-quotes\/\">40 Eye-Opening Narcissist Quotes That Reveal How Narcissists Think and Manipulate<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/what-causes-narcissism\/\">What Causes Narcissism: Find Out About Its Origins<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/signs-you-are-healing-from-narcissistic-abuse\/\">10 Empowering Signs You\u2019re Healing from Narcissistic Abuse<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/things-narcissists-say\/\">Things Narcissists Say: 18 Classic Phrases That Reveal Their True Personality<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-family\/\">The Toxic Dynamics of a Narcissistic Family: How Control and Silence Keep the Cycle Alive<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-victim-syndrome\/\">Narcissistic Victim Syndrome: Everything You Need to Know<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/?p=1777&amp;preview=true\">Can a Narcissist Change for the Right Woman? Why Love Alone Isn\u2019t Enough to Fix Them<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/long-term-effects-of-narcissistic-abuse\/\">Understanding and Overcoming the Long-Term Effects of Narcissistic Abuse<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-break-up-with-a-narcissist\/\">How to Break Up with a Narcissist: The Step-by-Step Guide to Leaving Without Losing Yourself<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-are-narcissists-created\/\">How Are Narcissists Created: Uncovering the Deep-Rooted Causes of Narcissism<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/stages-of-narcissistic-abuse\/\">The Stages of Narcissistic Abuse Explained and How to Break the Cycle<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; When you first look into a narcissist&#8217;s eyes upon your first meeting, you will be drawn to the way they look&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1995,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"default","_kad_post_title":"default","_kad_post_layout":"default","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"default","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"default","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[79],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1247","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-narcissistic-abuse-signs"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":79,"label":"Narcissistic Abuse Signs"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/Blogs-Cover-Photos-7-1024x576.png",1024,576,true],"author_info":{"display_name":"Mary McConnell","author_link":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/author\/marymc206outlook-com\/"},"comment_info":"","category_info":[{"term_id":79,"name":"Narcissistic Abuse Signs","slug":"narcissistic-abuse-signs","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":79,"taxonomy":"category","description":"<ul>\r\n \t<li>Narcissistic Abuse Signs: 17 Red Flags You Shouldn\u2019t Ignore<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Meta description:<\/strong>\u00a0Learn the most common narcissistic abuse signs, including gaslighting, manipulation, control, and emotional confusion, so you can recognize the red flags early.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>","parent":0,"count":20,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":79,"category_count":20,"category_description":"<ul>\r\n \t<li>Narcissistic Abuse Signs: 17 Red Flags You Shouldn\u2019t Ignore<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Meta description:<\/strong>\u00a0Learn the most common narcissistic abuse signs, including gaslighting, manipulation, control, and emotional confusion, so you can recognize the red flags early.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>","cat_name":"Narcissistic Abuse Signs","category_nicename":"narcissistic-abuse-signs","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1247","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1247"}],"version-history":[{"count":28,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1247\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1997,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1247\/revisions\/1997"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1995"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1247"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1247"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1247"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}