{"id":1827,"date":"2025-10-27T14:02:42","date_gmt":"2025-10-27T14:02:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/?p=1827"},"modified":"2026-04-08T06:39:43","modified_gmt":"2026-04-08T06:39:43","slug":"things-narcissists-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/things-narcissists-say\/","title":{"rendered":"Things Narcissists Say: 18 Classic Phrases That Reveal Their True Personality"},"content":{"rendered":"<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2857\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/Re-EDIT-95.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"2240\" height=\"1260\" \/>Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling confused, blamed, or drained, without knowing why? And at the same time thinking I\u2019ve heard this somewhere before. <\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The things narcissists say have a pattern of repeating and you may have heard the same thing see the things narcissists say is a common language for them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-3\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The things narcissists say are designed to be used as tools to manipulate and control their victim. To enable them to drain their victim of the supply they desire. <\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-3\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That is why narcissists say the things narcissist say to gain the control they need.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-4\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissists need control and lack any empathy towards anyone or anything. So it is like a robot overtaking your thoughts so that they can control your every move and decision. While fully devoting yourself to their happiness.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-5\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I want you to see the 18 phrases narcissists commonly use to manipulate their victims and see the decoding of their tactics as we analyze the things narcissists say.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-6\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As you read this I encourage you to remember phrases that your narcissist said and share them to see how many common phrases they share in their manipulation tactics.<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_81 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/things-narcissists-say\/#Why_Narcissists_Use_Predictable_Phrases\" >Why Narcissists Use Predictable Phrases\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/things-narcissists-say\/#18_Classic_Things_Narcissists_Say\" >18 Classic Things Narcissists Say<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/things-narcissists-say\/#How_to_Protect_Yourself_from_Verbal_Manipulation\" >How to Protect Yourself from Verbal Manipulation\u00a0<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-7\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why_Narcissists_Use_Predictable_Phrases\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why Narcissists Use Predictable Phrases\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-8\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Things narcissists say are pattern based. Repetition helps the manipulation process along, if the things the narcissists say are in a repetitive pattern it is memorized by the victim as a fact rather than just the things the narcissists say randomly. So it must be true.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-9\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The things narcissists say are phrases that often deflect any type of blame, confuse, or gaslight or a combination to really hit their manipulative point home. It can even end up securing even more admiration from the victim.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-10\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Things narcissists say create Power dynamics: They use words as their weapons to punish their victims and enslave them. Things narcissists say are used to reinforce superiority of themselves and the victimhood of their prey.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-11\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The things a narcissist says has one\u00a0 goal: Keep others off-balance. You can\u2019t have self confidence when they create self-doubting, or are overly focused on the narcissist\u2019s needs. If you are focused on them you can not focus on yourself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-12\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"18_Classic_Things_Narcissists_Say\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">18 Classic Things Narcissists Say<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-13\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-1830 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/generated-image-2025-10-26-1.jpg\" alt=\"a diagram of different types of phrases\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/generated-image-2025-10-26-1.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/generated-image-2025-10-26-1-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/generated-image-2025-10-26-1-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/generated-image-2025-10-26-1-768x768.jpg 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/generated-image-2025-10-26-1-96x96.jpg 96w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-14\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">1. \u201cYou\u2019re too sensitive.\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-15\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What this actually translates to is: Oh, crap you caught me on my crap, and now I need to gaslight you into feeling guilty for the accusation and no I\u2019m not responsible for what I did. I just need to make you feel bad for accusing me of it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-16\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This statement is used to cover up whatever made you feel bad. This way they are in the right and your feelings are now wrong????? WTF just happened. Your feelings are never wrong they are the way you feel and that is completely normal<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-17\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You totally want to explain your feelings but it will be to a brick wall a narcissist doesn\u2019t understand emotions. You need to take a minute and then explain it like you are talking to a toddler. If they still don\u2019t understand then it\u2019s the red flag you thought you saw.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-18\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">2. \u201cI never said that.\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-19\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ummm yes they did, but now it\u2019s time to cover the tracks of accountability. If you will believe I didn\u2019t actually say that then it just gets swept away and I don\u2019t have to answer for it. You just feel less mentally stable.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-20\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The narcissist says this because if they can get you to believe that they didn\u2019t actually say what they said then you feel like they are perfect again and you are in the wrong. What will you do to make up for this?? The narc just found a new supply they didn\u2019t know they had.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-21\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is actually the time that recording conversations is great. When you can prove to them they are wrong and they did actually say that. It now only helps you in your confidence that NO you\u2019re not crazy they did say it. They just lie to manipulate you. And you just proved them wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-22\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-1831 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/0a3ce557-f2d9-4265-98c0-8f18650b7f5f.jpg\" alt=\"a drawing of a woman and a woman with a question mark\" width=\"1016\" height=\"677\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/0a3ce557-f2d9-4265-98c0-8f18650b7f5f.jpg 1016w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/0a3ce557-f2d9-4265-98c0-8f18650b7f5f-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/0a3ce557-f2d9-4265-98c0-8f18650b7f5f-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/0a3ce557-f2d9-4265-98c0-8f18650b7f5f-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1016px) 100vw, 1016px\" \/><\/h3>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-23\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">3. \u201cYou\u2019re imagining things.\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-24\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You\u2019re not imagining it, you are remembering it. But you are remembering that the narcissist is an ass, which isn\u2019t doing well for their ego. So they need to convince you that you are wrong otherwise they aren\u2019t perfect.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-25\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They need to undermine your perception and cause self doubt in your thoughts. Otherwise you might figure out how fake this person really is. If that happened that would destroy their whole world.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-26\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You need to actually call them on this, again record whatever you can. Show proof. This isn\u2019t going to convince them, they are so lost you can\u2019t save them at this point. What this does though is prove to you that no you didn\u2019t imagine it. It really did happen. And keep your self confidence in tact.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-27\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">4. \u201cYou\u2019re just jealous.\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-28\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Jealous??? Kind of, I mean the narcissist is probably promoting jealousy to manipulate you, and promote insecurities in you so that they gain more control. But I\u2019m not sure that jealousy is actually what it is. Manipulated definitely.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-29\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What they are actually doing is shifting blame so that you now have negative feelings and they get to feel good about themselves again. You now feel bad for what they did. And they are perfect right??<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-30\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is a hard one to respond to. You honestly need to seem like it doesn\u2019t phase you., in order to reclaim your power. But you want to scream and cry. You are way better than whatever they are presenting, you just need to know you are enough.\ud83d\udc9c<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-31\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">5. \u201cEveryone agrees with me.\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-32\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What this actually means is \u201cDon\u2019t ask anyone because if they hear this they will think I\u2019m crazy, so just believe me.\u201d They need you to believe this not\u00a0 test their theory. Then their true colors would show.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-33\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The narc uses this statement to get you to believe their delusional jury of imaginary people that actually would agree with them. I mean I can ask my barbie dolls and they would all have my opinion too\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-34\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To respond to this one honestly I would ask who and then ask them personally. I never had this courage when it was happening to me. Mine even told these statements to the judge in our divorce hearings. That was when it really hit home and I needed to start calling it out.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-35\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The thing that amazed me the most is the fact that the judge would believe this. It was bad enough that I believed it throughout our relationship. But now I actually had to show proof to a court that we were both being manipulated.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-36\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">6. \u201cI\u2019m sorry you feel that way.\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-37\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You\u2019re sorry I feel this way??? Why are you not sorry you made me feel this way???? Seriously this is not an apology this is making me feel bad for feeling bad because you made me feel bad.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-38\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They need you to really feel worse for having feelings. Because if you actually accepted these feelings you\u2019d realize how horrible this person is in your life. And you might actually realize all the lies.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-39\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This one you actually do need to ask them. Are you sorry you made me feel this way? When you hear the BS answer, take a minute and realize they are just gaslighting you again. They are not going to take responsibility no matter how they phrase it.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-40\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-1832 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/50068179-dc91-4fc1-9b2a-d4d926156c2f.jpg\" alt=\"a pair of scissors and strings being made by a person\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/50068179-dc91-4fc1-9b2a-d4d926156c2f.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/50068179-dc91-4fc1-9b2a-d4d926156c2f-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/50068179-dc91-4fc1-9b2a-d4d926156c2f-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/50068179-dc91-4fc1-9b2a-d4d926156c2f-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/h3>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-41\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">7. \u201cYou\u2019re overreacting.\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-42\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You are reacting and they can\u2019t handle the reality check they are seeing. If the truth comes out their game is over. This would shatter the image you have of their perfection. So let\u2019s belittle reality and make their story the feature.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-43\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If they can convince you that you are overreacting, then you learn not to react. This means they can do what they want when they want and they have no consequence. You have learned not to react to their bad behaviors.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-44\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The ultimate response would be seriously you did the crime now you face the time, but honestly I still can\u2019t say that to my narc. But at least I can grow the attitude that backs that statement and the more you can feel that statement in you the stronger you feel.,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-45\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">8. \u201cAfter all I\u2019ve done for you&#8230;\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-46\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They are trying to get you to feel indebted and guilty for accepting less than normal human behavior from them. In their mind they think that a subhuman action like returning a phone call deserves media coverage and an award of some sort.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-47\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">All they are trying to do is get you to feel guilty and loyal for them treating you like crap. And now you are thankful to be treated like crap. To be acknowledged at all. This gets you to be their loyal supply. You are just thankful to be in their presence.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-48\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">WAKE UP! You deserve so much more than they are giving you. And you do not owe anyone but yourself loyalty. This is like saying thank you for hitting me, I needed that. You are being mentally beaten up right now and do not need to say thank you.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-49\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">9. \u201cYou\u2019ll never find someone like me.\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-50\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is the statement that makes you stay. You actually start believing this is the best you can ever have. They need you to believe this otherwise you might call the on their crap and get away and then how would they survive.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-51\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The narc needs you, you deserve so much better, and they know it. But they can\u2019t let you know that otherwise where would they be? A lonely grumpy loser that no one wants. And they deep down know you are the only thing keeping them as who they are.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-52\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What you should be saying is THANK GOD!!!!! If you never meet someone who can treat you this poorly and expect praise for it than thank every higher power that there be! You are worth so much more and if you never get treated this poorly again, than I am thankful\ud83d\udc9c<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-53\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">10. \u201cYou made me do it.\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-54\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What they are really doing is shifting the blame. They did it. Everyone knows they did it. But they want you to take responsibility for their actions. If they rob a bank are you going to tell the judge you did it, you just used your partner&#8217;s body to pull it off.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-55\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You can not make anybody do anything they don\u2019t want to.Much less force somebody to do something. You did not hold them at gun point and make them treat you badly. They chose to do what they did, and they need to be responsible for their actions.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-56\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When they tell you that you made them do it. Ask where and when you held them at gun point and forced them to do whatever it is they did. Then realize that they made the decision to be a bad person you just chose to put up with it.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-57\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">11. \u201cI\u2019m the victim here.\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-58\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The narc is trying to get you to feel bad for the fact that they hurt you. If you feel like you hurt them they gain sympathy and you forget why you&#8217;re mad at them. They just got away with what they did and you feel bad for them, not yourself you remember the actual victim.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-59\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This keeps them from being accountable for their actions by now focusing on how they were the victim, not how they were the abuser. They actually want you to feel bad for what they did and their bad decisions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-60\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0When you are confronted with this one you need to really ask who forced you to make that decision? Because if you made the decision you\u2019re not the victim, you&#8217;re just the one that was dumb enough to do what you did.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-61\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-1833 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/bd1ef50f-4ca7-4d0a-b0b4-cf35120025cd.jpg\" alt=\"a woman standing in a maze\" width=\"985\" height=\"657\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/bd1ef50f-4ca7-4d0a-b0b4-cf35120025cd.jpg 985w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/bd1ef50f-4ca7-4d0a-b0b4-cf35120025cd-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/bd1ef50f-4ca7-4d0a-b0b4-cf35120025cd-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/bd1ef50f-4ca7-4d0a-b0b4-cf35120025cd-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 985px) 100vw, 985px\" \/><\/h3>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-62\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">12. \u201cI guess I\u2019m just a terrible person then.\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-63\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is used to silence your criticism of their bad behavior. A narc will use this sarcasm to make you think you\u2019ve made them feel bad enough for what they did. But in reality they just don\u2019t want to hear about it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-64\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is used as a manipulation to get you to stop talking to them about whatever they did. If they say this comment than obviously they feel bad for what they did right? A normal person would. But a narcissist just wants to end the conversation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-65\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The easiest way to respond to this one is by explaining very clearly that is not what you said. You were talking about what they did and how it impacted you, not about them being a terrible person but just making a mistake you\u2019re hoping to avoid in the future.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-66\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">13. \u201cWhy can\u2019t you let the past go?\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-67\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The narc doesn\u2019t want resolution or accountability for the harm they caused. This is how they get you to turn the page without them having to be accountable for what they did.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-68\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They know what they did hurt you and manipulated you and it worked for wha they were trying to accomplish. But now they don\u2019t need you figuring out that they have a pattern, so lets just forget it happened and move on.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-69\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The way to address this is to explain that we can move on and let the past go once we actually talk about it and make sure that this is not a repetitive thing. And to be sure that we both understand what happened and how to avoid it.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-70\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">14. \u201cNo one else has a problem with me.\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-71\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is a common statement to make you feel like the isolated problem. If no one else has a problem it must be my issue right? The narc wants you to believe you are the problem not them. Not only are they convincing you, they will convince others if needed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-72\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They need to be perfect and so they can\u2019t have a flaw. This makes them appear flawless, because they now made it that you are the problem. It just turns the table as to who has the actual problem,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-73\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The fact of the matter is no one was asked if they had a problem with the narc. You just called them on their crap and they don\u2019t want to be accountable. I would ask them directly, really? Let\u2019s ask a few people their opinion then.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-74\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">15. \u201cYou\u2019re lucky I put up with you.\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-75\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This statement is designed to make you feel dependent on the narc. It devalues you, making you think that you are lucky to be able to put up with being abused. They need you to want them. They can\u2019t survive without you, so you can\u2019t leave them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-76\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The narc knows you can do better, be happier, but not with them and the way they treat you. So they need you to believe that you need them, not the reality that they wouldn\u2019t survive a day without all you do for them and the supply you provide.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-77\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The response to this one is Your right I am lucky to see you for who and what you really are and the patterns of abuse. I was lucky to learn this lesson from you but now I\u2019m lucky enough to walk away from being treated like this, because I can do way better than you.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-78\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">16. \u201cI\u2019m just being honest.\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-79\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What this is honestly used for is to be able to get away with saying something that is probably not true, but a manipulation to demean you with unfiltered and probably unneeded and unwarranted insults.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-80\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is used to be able to criticize you and make you feel bad for something that probably was just fine, but if you believed it was just fine you would have more power than your abuser, because you might become confident.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-81\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A good response. As long as we\u2019re being honest I really don\u2019t like the way you demean me. If you were being honest you could do it as constructive criticism when I make a mistake, not just an unneeded and unwarranted insult.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-82\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">17. \u201cYou don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about.\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-83\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What this really means is you just outsmarted the narc, but they don\u2019t want you to know it, nor do they want you to grow any confidence. That would destroy their mission.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-84\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They use this statement to make you second guess yourself and your knowledge. If they say it they must know more than you right? This will keep you coming to them for this problem every time and they will be making the decisions in this area forever more.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-85\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The way to respond to this is by fact checking. We all have a phone with the internet. Check the facts and then show them that you were correct and did know what you were talking about. They are the fool who needs to learn more before speaking.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 data-rm-block-id=\"block-86\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">18. \u201cYou\u2019re crazy.\u201d<\/span><\/h3>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-87\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is my favorite. They need you to believe you are the problem. A narcissist believes they are flawless. So they need you to be convinced you&#8217;re crazy so that their flaw isn\u2019t real. It\u2019s just some crazy thing you made up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-88\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They need you to be the one with a problem not them. If you\u2019re crazy how would you confirm or deny this especially if you only have their opinion. I went in for mental health help multiple times thinking I was crazy because he said so. I was just fine each time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-89\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is no good response to this statement. I would only recommend saying ok, then I think I\u00a0 should see a counselor\/therapist. Then start getting help to get away from narcissistic abuse, and start your healing journey.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-90\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-1834 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/generated-image-2025-10-26-6.jpg\" alt=\"a person holding a shield with arrows\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/generated-image-2025-10-26-6.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/generated-image-2025-10-26-6-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/generated-image-2025-10-26-6-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/generated-image-2025-10-26-6-768x768.jpg 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/generated-image-2025-10-26-6-96x96.jpg 96w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-91\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_to_Protect_Yourself_from_Verbal_Manipulation\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Protect Yourself from Verbal Manipulation\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-92\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The first step is to understand what you are living with and recognize the patterns. Keep track of them in a journal and seek help and guidance to ensure you have the needed support.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-93\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Set boundaries that keep you from engaging in these verbal traps of manipulation. Be prepared to respond to the common statements and step away and take a minute for the unexpected or odd ball things that come about.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-94\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The biggest supply a narcissist can get from you is an emotional reaction. This just fuels their fire. Try to detach emotionally from their abuse, it will take time to fully emotionally detach but it does come to you as you realize what they are doing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-95\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Don\u2019t try to heal alone. Therapy, support groups, or a trusted friend that can see what you\u2019re going through are game changers in healing. Even online just looking at videos and websites can give you that energy to push you towards healing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-96\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Know when it\u2019s time to go. If you can not protect your mental health in the relationship. It\u2019s time for the relationship to end. Not all relationships are repairable, especially when someone is not about to take accountability for their actions or words.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-96\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-1836 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/b814d202-125b-43bf-b186-9bfb877bd440.jpg\" alt=\"a group of women standing in a circle with butterflies flying around them\" width=\"972\" height=\"648\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/b814d202-125b-43bf-b186-9bfb877bd440.jpg 972w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/b814d202-125b-43bf-b186-9bfb877bd440-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/b814d202-125b-43bf-b186-9bfb877bd440-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/b814d202-125b-43bf-b186-9bfb877bd440-150x100.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 972px) 100vw, 972px\" \/><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-98\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We\u2019ve covered 18 of the most common things narcissists say. And there is a pattern: most things narcissists say are manipulative ways to devalue you and make you think you are more dependent on the narcissist than they are on you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-99\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Things narcissists say are used as tools to get you to believe them to gain and maintain control of you. They feed on the emotional turmoil this causes in you. Like a sick and twisted child trying to get a response.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-100\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You are\u00a0 amazing!\u00a0 If they can\u2019t see it and say it, then it\u2019s time to find someone who can. Negativity from a narcissist will eat away and your self love. Rebuilding it can not start until you get away from it. And honestly you will then begin to see how amazing you are.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-101\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I covered 18 of the most common but obviously not all of their one liners. Do you have more you\u2019ve heard? How did you respond? How do you wish you would have responded? Have you heard these before? What worked or didn\u2019t work?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you recognize these signs or feel trapped in a narcissistic relationship, please know that you&#8217;re not alone \u2013 and it&#8217;s not your fault.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your healing journey matters, and support is available. Visit themarymcconnell.com for free educational resources, recovery tools, and a community of survivors who understand exactly what you&#8217;re going through.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For immediate help: \u2022 National Domestic Violence Hotline:<\/span><\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> | Ca<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">ll 1-800-799-7233 \u2022 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 \u2022 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your voice matters. If you have additional resources that have helped you, please share them in the comments below \u2013 together we can create a network of support for everyone who needs it.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you dealt with a narcissist? Your story could help someone else recognize the signs or feel less alone. Share your experience in the comments if you feel comfortable doing so.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember: You deserve love that feels safe, not chaotic. You deserve respect, not manipulation. You deserve healing, and it&#8217;s possible. \ud83d\udc99<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Looking for more guidance on narcissism and recovery from narcissistic abuse? Explore our collection of expert articles on recognizing toxic patterns, healing, and reclaiming your confidence. Start your journey to empowerment and emotional freedom with these helpful blog posts.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-eyes\/\">The Hidden Meaning Behind the Narcissist Eyes<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/why-do-narcissists-want-to-hurt-you\/\">Why Do Narcissists Want to Hurt You: The Truth Behind Their Manipulative Behavior<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-expose-a-narcissist\/\">How to Expose a Narcissist Safely Without Falling Into Their Trap<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/what-does-narc-mean\/\">What Does Narc Mean? A Deep Dive into Narcissism and Its Impact on Relationships<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-and-the-silent-treatment\/\">Narcissist and the Silent Treatment: How to Recognize, Respond and Reclaim Your Voice<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-at-work\/\">Dealing with a Narcissist at Work: 9 Survival Strategies to Protect Your Sanity and Career<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-shut-down-a-narcissist\/\">How to Shut Down a Narcissist: 7 Powerful Responses to Silence Them<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-traits-in-males\/\">Narcissistic Traits in Males: 12 Disturbing Signs You Can\u2019t Ignore<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/do-narcissists-know-they-are-narcissists\/\">Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists? The Truth About Their Self-Perception and Denial<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-does-the-narcissist-feel-when-you-move-on\/\">How Does the Narcissist Feel When You Move On: The Shocking Truth They Don\u2019t Want You to Know!<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/are-narcissists-evil\/\">Are Narcissists Evil or Products of Their Past?<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-love-bombing\/\">Narcissist Love Bombing: How to Spot the Signs Before It\u2019s Too Late<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-quotes\/\">40 Eye-Opening Narcissist Quotes That Reveal How Narcissists Think and Manipulate<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/what-causes-narcissism\/\">What Causes Narcissism: Find Out About Its Origins<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/signs-you-are-healing-from-narcissistic-abuse\/\">10 Empowering Signs You\u2019re Healing from Narcissistic Abuse<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-family\/\">The Toxic Dynamics of a Narcissistic Family: How Control and Silence Keep the Cycle Alive<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-victim-syndrome\/\">Narcissistic Victim Syndrome: Everything You Need to Know<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/?p=1777&amp;preview=true\">Can a Narcissist Change for the Right Woman? Why Love Alone Isn\u2019t Enough to Fix Them<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/long-term-effects-of-narcissistic-abuse\/\">Understanding and Overcoming the Long-Term Effects of Narcissistic Abuse<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-break-up-with-a-narcissist\/\">How to Break Up with a Narcissist: The Step-by-Step Guide to Leaving Without Losing Yourself<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-are-narcissists-created\/\">How Are Narcissists Created: Uncovering the Deep-Rooted Causes of Narcissism<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/stages-of-narcissistic-abuse\/\">The Stages of Narcissistic Abuse Explained and How to Break the Cycle<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling confused, blamed, or drained, without knowing why? And at the same time thinking&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2856,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"default","_kad_post_title":"default","_kad_post_layout":"default","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"default","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"default","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[79],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1827","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-narcissistic-abuse-signs"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":79,"label":"Narcissistic Abuse Signs"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/Re-EDIT-94.jpg",1024,576,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Mary McConnell","author_link":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/author\/marymc206outlook-com\/"},"comment_info":"","category_info":[{"term_id":79,"name":"Narcissistic Abuse Signs","slug":"narcissistic-abuse-signs","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":79,"taxonomy":"category","description":"<ul>\r\n \t<li>Narcissistic Abuse Signs: 17 Red Flags You Shouldn\u2019t Ignore<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Meta description:<\/strong>\u00a0Learn the most common narcissistic abuse signs, including gaslighting, manipulation, control, and emotional confusion, so you can recognize the red flags early.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>","parent":0,"count":20,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":79,"category_count":20,"category_description":"<ul>\r\n \t<li>Narcissistic Abuse Signs: 17 Red Flags You Shouldn\u2019t Ignore<\/li>\r\n \t<li><strong>Meta description:<\/strong>\u00a0Learn the most common narcissistic abuse signs, including gaslighting, manipulation, control, and emotional confusion, so you can recognize the red flags early.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>","cat_name":"Narcissistic Abuse Signs","category_nicename":"narcissistic-abuse-signs","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1827","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1827"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1827\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2858,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1827\/revisions\/2858"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2856"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1827"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1827"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1827"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}