{"id":2104,"date":"2026-01-28T21:18:50","date_gmt":"2026-01-28T21:18:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/?p=2104"},"modified":"2026-05-21T01:55:46","modified_gmt":"2026-05-21T01:55:46","slug":"how-to-get-a-narcissist-back","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-get-a-narcissist-back\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Get a Narcissist Back Without Losing Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-2825 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/Copy-of-Blogs-Cover-Photos-9.jpg\" alt=\"How to Get a Narcissist Back Without Losing Yourself\" width=\"2240\" height=\"1260\" \/><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019ve realized you are with a narcissist and have left them and want to know how to get a narcissist back. Don\u2019t judge yourself. They may have changed, it could be true love, or maybe you have some unfinished business or even an emotional trauma bond..<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-3\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Going down this road is not for the weak. The risk is the abuse intensifies, you will be punished for having left. If you are going to learn how to get a narcissist back\u00a0 your self-awareness and boundaries are your new shield make sure they are strong.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-4\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019ll give you advice on how to get a narcissist back, but it will come with warnings, there was a reason you split in the first place, and it may very well have been for your own good, but you have to decide that for yourself, no one can make that decision for you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-5\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-2106 size-large\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-1024x747.png\" alt=\"Woman in suit by cracked mirror.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"747\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-1024x747.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-300x219.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-768x560.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-150x109.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28.png 1184w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_81 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-get-a-narcissist-back\/#Understanding_the_Narcissists_Mindset\" >Understanding the Narcissist\u2019s Mindset<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-get-a-narcissist-back\/#Should_You_Really_Get_a_Narcissist_Back\" >Should You Really Get a Narcissist Back?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-get-a-narcissist-back\/#Psychological_Tactics_to_Re-Attract_a_Narcissist\" >Psychological Tactics to Re-Attract a Narcissist<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-get-a-narcissist-back\/#If_You_Still_Want_Them_Back_Setting_Boundaries_to_Protect_Yourself\" >If You Still Want Them Back: Setting Boundaries to Protect Yourself<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-get-a-narcissist-back\/#What_to_Do_If_You_Succeed_in_Getting_the_Narcissist_Back\" >What to Do If You Succeed in Getting the Narcissist Back<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-get-a-narcissist-back\/#The_Dangers_of_Reuniting_with_a_Narcissist\" >The Dangers of Reuniting with a Narcissist<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-get-a-narcissist-back\/#Healing_and_Moving_Forward_With_or_Without_Them\" >Healing and Moving Forward (With or Without Them)<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-6\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Understanding_the_Narcissists_Mindset\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Understanding the Narcissist\u2019s Mindset<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-7\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you look at how to get a narcissist back you need to look at how they perceive relationships. They see people as supply not as partners, so going in they are looking for what they can get from you not how they can partner with you for the future.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-8\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If they left you and then discarded you, realize it was out of boredom or finding a new supply. It may have even been that they felt threatened that you were better than them and people could see it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-9\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Then you need to look at what makes a narcissist come back. It can be a lack of self control, maybe they depleted their bank account and are looking for some financial support, or it could just be a simple ego boost to get you back.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-10\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2107\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-1-1024x747.jpg\" alt=\"Silhouette of a woman at doorway\" width=\"1024\" height=\"747\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-1-1024x747.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-1-300x219.jpg 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-1-768x560.jpg 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-1-150x109.jpg 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-1.jpg 1184w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-11\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Should_You_Really_Get_a_Narcissist_Back\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Should You Really Get a Narcissist Back?<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-12\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here is a warning if you are thinking about how to get a narcissist back. It may not be love, it may be a trauma bond. You may feel addicted to them, you\u2019ve been trying to please them for so long you feel like that is your sole purpose in life. It\u2019s not, but it feels that way.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-13\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You have gone through the cycle before and are about to go back into it, be mindful of what stage of the cycle you are coming in on, to prepare yourself for what\u2019s next.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-14\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are coming back in at idealization, you\u2019ll enjoy the shower of love bombing, the devaluation you will come in with being shamed for having left, and the discard, this is the punisher they don\u2019t want you anymore. They honestly do, they just want to hurt you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-15\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Regardless of where you enter the cycle you will go through the full cycle between you figuring out how to get a narcissist back and the next break up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-16\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019ve been away from the narcissist before you look at how to get a narcissist back, look at the signs you might be better off without them. Have you noticed that when you are away you change?<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-17\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You stop being emotionally and mentally exhausted, you start finding a sense of self worth and even self love. You can stop being scared of the manipulation that you had been used to when you were with the narcissist.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-18\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I just ask that you take time and look at things before you jump back in. It takes an abuse victim an average of 7 times to leave the abuser, some like me are above average, but everyone has to learn at their own pace, as long as they learn.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-19\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2108\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-2-1024x747.png\" alt=\"Mysterious figure in a dark setting.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"747\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-2-1024x747.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-2-300x219.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-2-768x560.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-2-150x109.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-2.png 1184w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-20\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Psychological_Tactics_to_Re-Attract_a_Narcissist\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Psychological Tactics to Re-Attract a Narcissist<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-21\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Going No-Contact, is a wonderful tactic for escaping a narc, but when you want to know how to get a narcissist back only go no contact temporarily, this creates a sense of loss and mystery, so when you allow them back into your life they are intrigued.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-22\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A narcissist wants the best of the best that\u2019s why they picked you the first time. Becoming confident, successful and independent they are starting to realize why they wanted you, and how they need you to keep up everyone\u2019s opinion of them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-23\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you appear happy without them, it triggers their FOMO\u00a0 (Fear of Missing Out). They see you on FaceBook with all your friends happy as can be, they want to be there, they deserve to be as happy as you are, and you shouldn\u2019t be happy without their approval.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-24\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Playing Hard to Get is a great tool if you want to know how to get a narcissist back A narcissist always wants what they can\u2019t have at their demand, so limiting their access to you only fuels their obsession, let the love bombing rain down.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-25\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you understand what the narcissist is seeking as supply, if you really want to know how to get a narcissist back, offer it to them subtly. If they know they can get it easily they won\u2019t want it, but if they have to earn it they want it more.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-26\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-2109 size-large\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-3-1024x747.png\" alt=\"Close-up of two hands as one holds a finger wrapped in red thread while the other positions scissors to cut the thread, symbolizing breaking a trauma bond.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"747\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-3-1024x747.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-3-300x219.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-3-768x560.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-3-150x109.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-3.png 1184w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-27\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"If_You_Still_Want_Them_Back_Setting_Boundaries_to_Protect_Yourself\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If You Still Want Them Back: Setting Boundaries to Protect Yourself<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-28\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re looking at how to get a narcissist back one of the first things you need to plan for is how to protect yourself. Remember how you felt when you left before? How are you going to keep yourself from feeling like that again?<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-29\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Think about where the painful points came into play,whether it\u2019s being emotionally detached, which is hard especially as an empath. You can try setting firm boundaries, refusing to argue.Whatever you need to do. Just have a plan and protect your emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-30\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a narcissist is having a boundary reinforced, you have to tread lightly. Remember they want to be the one in control, so you will need to take careful steps to prevent rage (temper tantrum).<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-31\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You will want to make sure you communicate clearly what the boundaries are, set firm limits, no wiggle room for manipulation.document any incidents or violations, and address violations immediately, no chance to think up a cover story.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-32\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And always have an escape plan, remember your learning how to get a narcissist back, discard is always a possibility in the future, so be prepared.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-33\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2110\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-4-1024x747.png\" alt=\"Person writing at a desk.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"747\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-4-1024x747.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-4-300x219.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-4-768x560.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-4-150x109.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-4.png 1184w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-34\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_to_Do_If_You_Succeed_in_Getting_the_Narcissist_Back\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What to Do If You Succeed in Getting the Narcissist Back<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<ol>\n<li data-rm-block-id=\"block-35\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Maintain Healthy Boundaries &#8211; Set and enforce healthy boundaries, when a boundary is violated document it and point it out, don\u2019t let it just keep happening, this is how it will get to being not a boundary violation but now acceptable if not addressed.<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-rm-block-id=\"block-36\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Seek Therapy Together &#8211; You need to find ways to communicate needs and expectations. Having a neutral third party in the room helps with accountability but also helps in opening up a channel of communication.<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-rm-block-id=\"block-37\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Keep Your Expectations Realistic &#8211; You are not expecting a toad to turn to a prince with one re-uniting over dinner. Change takes time and patience, but needs to be kept real. If they are starting the cycle again they haven\u2019t changed.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-rm-block-id=\"block-38\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Continue Self-Care Practices &#8211; Make sure you continue your self care. This is to prevent you from losing yourself and your identity again. Keep up with therapy or coaching on your own as well as doing therapy as a couple. It is about your well being.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-rm-block-id=\"block-39\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Stay Connected with Support Networks &#8211; Just because you went back, members of most support groups would understand, you may not attend the group anymore but stay in touch with members, you never know when you might want some guidance and support.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-rm-block-id=\"block-40\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> Trust Your Instincts &#8211; Trust yourself over anyone, if things feel like you are getting right back on the abuse cycle, it\u2019s time to go, if true change is happening you will feel it. Love feels different when it\u2019s real and not a tool of control.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-41\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2111\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-5-1024x747.png\" alt=\"Two hands reaching towards each other.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"747\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-5-1024x747.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-5-300x219.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-5-768x560.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-5-150x109.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-5.png 1184w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/h2>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-42\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Dangers_of_Reuniting_with_a_Narcissist\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Dangers of Reuniting with a Narcissist<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-43\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The harsh reality question is will they actually change? Most narcissists get worse rather than better especially if their supply returns no matter what they do. There are self aware narcissists though, that did find a path to healing and I salute them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-44\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In all the gaslighting, love-bombing, devaluing, and discarding you become emotionally exhausted which can leave you losing your own self-identity. Keep an eye on how you are feeling emotionally at all times. An emotions journal is a huge help<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-45\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Keep a cheat sheet if you have to of red flags and warnings, whatever you need to do to ensure you can spot them early and walk away before it\u2019s too late. And be sure to document it, if nothing else to remind yourself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-46\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2112\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-6-1024x747.png\" alt=\"Person standing at a forked path.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"747\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-6-1024x747.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-6-300x219.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-6-768x560.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-6-150x109.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-6.png 1184w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-47\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Healing_and_Moving_Forward_With_or_Without_Them\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Healing and Moving Forward (With or Without Them)<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-48\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whether you figure out how to get a narcissist back or keep them away, you are the most important person and rebuilding your self worth should be priority number one. You should include therapy\/coaching, self care routines, and a focus on inner healing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-49\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In your self healing journey look at why you are drawn to them, try to understand your emotional dependency. If you can identify the addiction maybe you will find strength to fight the temptation and break free. .\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-50\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Take time, even if it means watching mushy love movies, yes those exaggerate what real love is, but you\u2019ve experienced toxic love, it\u2019s time to find a balance of what real love and respect look like, no not always like the movies, but aim for it at least.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-51\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2113\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-7-1024x747.png\" alt=\"Three people sharing a supportive moment.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"747\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-7-1024x747.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-7-300x219.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-7-768x560.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-7-150x109.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-28-7.png 1184w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-52\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Learning how to get a narcissist back doesn\u2019t mean you have to do it. You, yourself need to weigh the risk and rewards of getting back together. But it\u2019s vital to protect yourself and always have an escape plan.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-53\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be mindful that your self respect and emotional well being are what is at stake. Yes there can be almost an addiction to chasing this person&#8217;s love, but is it worth losing yourself. Be sure you know your own boundaries and when it\u2019s time to get out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-54\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Whether you decide you want to master how to get a narcissist back or leave them in the past is a personal decision. I only ask from experience to look at everything and decide what is truly best for your own well-being.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-55\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you recognize these signs or feel trapped in a narcissistic relationship, please know that you&#8217;re not alone \u2013 and it&#8217;s not your fault.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-56\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your healing journey matters, and support is available. Visit themarymcconnell.com for free educational resources, recovery tools, and a community of survivors who understand exactly what you&#8217;re going through.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-57\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For immediate help: \u2022 National Domestic Violence Hotline:<\/span><\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> | Ca<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-58\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">ll 1-800-799-7233 \u2022 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 \u2022 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-59\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your voice matters. If you have additional resources that have helped you, please share them in the comments below \u2013 together we can create a network of support for everyone who needs it.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-60\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you dealt with a narcissist? Your story could help someone else recognize the signs or feel less alone. Share your experience in the comments if you feel comfortable doing so.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-61\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember: You deserve love that feels safe, not chaotic. You deserve respect, not manipulation. You deserve healing, and it&#8217;s possible. \ud83d\udc99<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-62\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Looking for more guidance on narcissism and recovery from narcissistic abuse? Explore our collection of expert articles on recognizing toxic patterns, healing, and reclaiming your confidence. Start your journey to empowerment and emotional freedom with these helpful blog posts.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-63\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-eyes\/\">The Hidden Meaning Behind the Narcissist Eyes<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-64\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/why-do-narcissists-want-to-hurt-you\/\">Why Do Narcissists Want to Hurt You: The Truth Behind Their Manipulative Behavior<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-65\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-expose-a-narcissist\/\">How to Expose a Narcissist Safely Without Falling Into Their Trap<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-66\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/what-does-narc-mean\/\">What Does Narc Mean? A Deep Dive into Narcissism and Its Impact on Relationships<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-67\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-and-the-silent-treatment\/\">Narcissist and the Silent Treatment: How to Recognize, Respond and Reclaim Your Voice<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-68\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-at-work\/\">Dealing with a Narcissist at Work: 9 Survival Strategies to Protect Your Sanity and Career<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-69\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-shut-down-a-narcissist\/\">How to Shut Down a Narcissist: 7 Powerful Responses to Silence Them<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-70\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-traits-in-males\/\">Narcissistic Traits in Males: 12 Disturbing Signs You Can\u2019t Ignore<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-71\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/do-narcissists-know-they-are-narcissists\/\">Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists? The Truth About Their Self-Perception and Denial<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-72\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-does-the-narcissist-feel-when-you-move-on\/\">How Does the Narcissist Feel When You Move On: The Shocking Truth They Don\u2019t Want You to Know!<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-73\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/are-narcissists-evil\/\">Are Narcissists Evil or Products of Their Past?<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-74\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-love-bombing\/\">Narcissist Love Bombing: How to Spot the Signs Before It\u2019s Too Late<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-75\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-quotes\/\">40 Eye-Opening Narcissist Quotes That Reveal How Narcissists Think and Manipulate<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-76\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/what-causes-narcissism\/\">What Causes Narcissism: Find Out About Its Origins<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-77\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/signs-you-are-healing-from-narcissistic-abuse\/\">10 Empowering Signs You\u2019re Healing from Narcissistic Abuse<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-78\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/things-narcissists-say\/\">Things Narcissists Say: 18 Classic Phrases That Reveal Their True Personality<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-79\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-family\/\">The Toxic Dynamics of a Narcissistic Family: How Control and Silence Keep the Cycle Alive<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-80\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-victim-syndrome\/\">Narcissistic Victim Syndrome: Everything You Need to Know<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-81\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/can-a-narcissist-change-for-the-right-woman\/\">Can a Narcissist Change for the Right Woman? Why Love Alone Isn\u2019t Enough to Fix Them<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-82\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/long-term-effects-of-narcissistic-abuse\/\">Understanding and Overcoming the Long-Term Effects of Narcissistic Abuse<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-83\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-break-up-with-a-narcissist\/\">How to Break Up with a Narcissist: The Step-by-Step Guide to Leaving Without Losing Yourself<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-84\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-are-narcissists-created\/\">How Are Narcissists Created: Uncovering the Deep-Rooted Causes of Narcissism<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-85\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/stages-of-narcissistic-abuse\/\">The Stages of Narcissistic Abuse Explained and How to Break the Cycle<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-86\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/no-contact-with-the-narcissist\/\">The Ultimate Guide to No Contact with the Narcissist: How to Stay Strong, Set Boundaries and Heal for Good<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-87\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-talk-to-a-narcissist\/\">How to Talk to a Narcissist Without Getting Manipulated<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you\u2019ve realized you are with a narcissist and have left them and want to know how to get a narcissist back&#8230;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2824,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"default","_kad_post_title":"default","_kad_post_layout":"default","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"default","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"default","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[76],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2104","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-narcissistic-manipulation-tactics"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":76,"label":"Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/Copy-of-Blogs-Cover-Photos-8.jpg",1024,576,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Mary McConnell","author_link":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/author\/marymc206outlook-com\/"},"comment_info":"","category_info":[{"term_id":76,"name":"Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics","slug":"narcissistic-manipulation-tactics","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":76,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Discover the most common narcissistic manipulation tactics, from gaslighting and blame-shifting to guilt and control, so you can spot the patterns and protect yourself.","parent":0,"count":21,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":76,"category_count":21,"category_description":"Discover the most common narcissistic manipulation tactics, from gaslighting and blame-shifting to guilt and control, so you can spot the patterns and protect yourself.","cat_name":"Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics","category_nicename":"narcissistic-manipulation-tactics","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2104","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2104"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2104\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2950,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2104\/revisions\/2950"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2824"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2104"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2104"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2104"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}