{"id":2149,"date":"2026-02-05T19:06:30","date_gmt":"2026-02-05T19:06:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/?p=2149"},"modified":"2026-05-21T01:20:42","modified_gmt":"2026-05-21T01:20:42","slug":"does-a-narcissist-come-back","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/does-a-narcissist-come-back\/","title":{"rendered":"Does a Narcissist Come Back? 7 Disturbing Reasons They Reappear When You Least Expect It"},"content":{"rendered":"<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-2808 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Re-EDIT-70.jpg\" alt=\"Does a Narcissist Come Back? 7 Disturbing Reasons They Reappear When You Least Expect It\" width=\"2240\" height=\"1260\" \/><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You thought it was over\u2014then they came back.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-3\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You left and healed, but does a narcissist come back? Oh yes and when you least expect it. It appears to be a random encounter, but it was only random to you. The narcissist needs to get their supply fix, and they need you to supply them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-4\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There\u2019s a number of reasons I\u2019ve included the 7 reasons to help you understand the logic behind their madness, and some tips on how to handle it. You\u2019ve done the work, now expect your strength to be tested.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-2151 size-large\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-11-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Person sitting, using smartphone indoors.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-11-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-11-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-11-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-11-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-11.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_81 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/does-a-narcissist-come-back\/#Does_a_Narcissist_Come_Back\" >Does a Narcissist Come Back?\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/does-a-narcissist-come-back\/#The_7_Disturbing_Reasons_Narcissists_Reappear\" >The 7 Disturbing Reasons Narcissists Reappear\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/does-a-narcissist-come-back\/#1_To_Regain_Control_Over_You\" >1. To Regain Control Over You<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/does-a-narcissist-come-back\/#2_Theyre_Running_Low_on_Narcissistic_Supply\" >2. They\u2019re Running Low on Narcissistic Supply<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/does-a-narcissist-come-back\/#3_To_Punish_You_for_Going_No_Contact\" >3. To Punish You for Going No Contact<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/does-a-narcissist-come-back\/#4_They_Want_to_Hoover_You_Back_In\" >4. They Want to Hoover You Back In<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/does-a-narcissist-come-back\/#5_They_Miss_the_Validation_You_Provided\" >5. They Miss the Validation You Provided<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/does-a-narcissist-come-back\/#6_You_Moved_On_and_They_Cant_Stand_It\" >6. You Moved On and They Can\u2019t Stand It<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-9\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/does-a-narcissist-come-back\/#7_Theyre_Testing_If_Youre_Still_Vulnerable\" >7. They&#8217;re Testing If You\u2019re Still Vulnerable<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-10\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/does-a-narcissist-come-back\/#What_Happens_When_You_Let_Them_Back_In\" >What Happens When You Let Them Back In?\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-11\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/does-a-narcissist-come-back\/#How_to_Respond_When_a_Narcissist_Comes_Back\" >How to Respond When a Narcissist Comes Back<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-12\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/does-a-narcissist-come-back\/#Long-Term_Protection_Healing\" >Long-Term Protection &amp; Healing\u00a0<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-5\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Does_a_Narcissist_Come_Back\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Does a Narcissist Come Back?\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-6\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So does a narcissist come back, yes and often. They got what they wanted from you and now they can\u2019t find a new supply, so they have to try to get you back under control so they can get their fix.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-7\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A narcissist needs validation and control to continue to function with the fake sense of Grandness that they live for. You gave them that. Now they are having to go into reality that you are no longer under their control.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-8\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">There is no set time frame as to when they will come back, there are a few common ones but nothing set in stone. It is whenever they realize that reality is they are not the greatest of all time, and no one believes their BS now that you\u2019re not there.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-9\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The common events that will bring a narc back around after getting through no contact, is the obvious open times like holidays when you\u2019re nice to everyone, or after a break up that they heard about they\u2019ll console you then control you, or when you move on.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-11\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_7_Disturbing_Reasons_Narcissists_Reappear\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The 7 Disturbing Reasons Narcissists Reappear\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-12\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2152\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-12-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Two hands reaching towards each other\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-12-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-12-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-12-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-12-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-12.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-13\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_To_Regain_Control_Over_You\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">1. To Regain Control Over You<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-14\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So when does a narcissist come back, when they realize they are losing power. The narcissist thrives with control, but if they lose that control, they become lost and have no clue where to go or what to do.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-15\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The narcissist will use an illusion of reconciliation, how they\u2019ve changed and all they want is the happy times you had together, whatever it takes their different now, they swear, until they regain control and resume their regular abuse cycle.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-17\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Theyre_Running_Low_on_Narcissistic_Supply\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">2. They\u2019re Running Low on Narcissistic Supply<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-18\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The question is never does a narcissist come back, it\u2019s when are they coming back. They need to feel in control, and receive constant praise and validation to keep their ego as inflated as it is. You were that inflation supplier.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-19\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The new source doesn\u2019t come as trained as you were to provide supply on demand, and the narcissist will miss what you did for them, this new one will never be as good as what they lost, and they will make a move to get you to replace the new model.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-21\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_To_Punish_You_for_Going_No_Contact\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">3. To Punish You for Going No Contact<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-22\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A narcissist views boundaries as threats, so when you went no contact they took that as a huge blow to their ego, and you are personally responsible in their eyes for the empty feeling they have now that you\u2019re gone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-23\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They may even be seeking revenge for you going no contact. They could disguise the revenge plot as offering closure or an empty apology to get you back to the contact zone and they\/\u2019re hopeful they can get you back under control or if not get back at you.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2153\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-13-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Person touching mirrors with flames reflected\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-13-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-13-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-13-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-13-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-13.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-24\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_They_Want_to_Hoover_You_Back_In\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">4. They Want to Hoover You Back In<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-25\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hoovering can include love bombing, making you think they have changed, or guilt tripping making you feel bad for leaving them and getting away from the abuse, to having an emergency that they know you will be there for no matter what.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-26\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Avoiding falling for these tactics takes a massive effort, you have to remember why you left, you can\u2019t feel guilty for actions or words that they used, and in an emergency keep a calm head and only address the facts of the situation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-27\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes that all sounds easy, right. It\u2019s not, you have feelings and emotions that you\u2019ve worked hard to heal. Letting the narc come back into your life is going to destroy all that, but these are your feelings and you have to decide what is best for you.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-29\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_They_Miss_the_Validation_You_Provided\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">5. They Miss the Validation You Provided<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-30\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your empathy was their heroin, and no they aren\u2019t getting their ego fed like you used to do. They are seeking you out just like any other addict seeks their drug of choice, you are theirs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-31\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When they are talking about how they miss you, what they are actually saying is they miss the way you made them feel and the way they felt when they were with you. Your feelings were never a part of the calculation, they just want to feel like you made them feel.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2154\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-14-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Person at door, another inside.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-14-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-14-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-14-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-14-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-14.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-32\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6_You_Moved_On_and_They_Cant_Stand_It\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">6. You Moved On and They Can\u2019t Stand It<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-33\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you ever heard misery loves company? Well a narcissist is miserable inside, they had you to take that away, now that they have to accept being miserable they want to be sure you are as well. So if\/when you meet someone new, that can break them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-34\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The narcissist is monitoring someway or somehow, they always know what\u2019s going on in your life and the minute they suspect that they are being replaced, this would mean you\u2019re not unhappy like them, so they want to fix that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-36\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s not only in the relationship arena though, after you leave a narcissist you will have a glow up, you shedded a huge weight off your mind, body and soul. So any glow up they find out about career, financial, and popularity, will trigger them that they need you to be miserable like them.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2155\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-15-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Phone surrounded by rose petals.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-15-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-15-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-15-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-15-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-15.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-37\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"7_Theyre_Testing_If_Youre_Still_Vulnerable\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">7. They&#8217;re Testing If You\u2019re Still Vulnerable<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-38\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissists are lazy , they are not going to challenge someone who is powerful or healed without finding a weakness, they got you once before they know your weaknesses and how to woo you back, they just want to see if they still have that power.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-39\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">They are testing, like if they can open up a small interaction, they feel they will be able to open up more interaction to open you up fully to their future manipulation, and then regain their control and fulfill the emptiness inside them.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-41\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_Happens_When_You_Let_Them_Back_In\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What Happens When You Let Them Back In?\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-42\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When the narcissist re-enters your life, it is usually in the idealization stage of the cycle of abuse, as soon as they have regained control of you they will then start with the devaluation to keep you filling them until they find something else then it\u2019s the discard.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-43\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2156\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-16-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Love, loss, and mystery themes depicted.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-16-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-16-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-16-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-16-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-16.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-44\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you come back into the cycle though it\u2019s not eating away at you like it did the first time, now it\u2019s eating away more since it\u2019s re-opening the trauma from before and now adding to it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-45\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The false promises and temporary charm cause deeper trauma by this measure because they are literally adding on damage to the damage they\u2019ve already done, that is re-opened when you return to the cycle.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2157\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-17-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Person walking in a hallway.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-17-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-17-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-17-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-17-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-17.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-46\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_to_Respond_When_a_Narcissist_Comes_Back\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Respond When a Narcissist Comes Back<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-47\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Regardless of how they come back into our lives, the gray rock and no contact methods will protect you like an invisible shield. If they can\u2019t get in they can\u2019t do anymore damage. If it is an emergency give them the information and no more.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-49\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You do not need to explain yourself or your boundaries, if they want to know the answer is because. That\u2019s it, you do not have to justify distancing yourself to the one you are trying to stay away from. It\u2019s your reason, they just need to know what to do to break it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-51\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You gain power when you are not engaging with the nonsense, things become clearer as you repair the damage that was done, and heal. When you start to feel your peace and the power you feel, it is life changing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-52\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By the time you feel this peace and power in your healing journey you won\u2019t want to hear from the narc. You come to the clarity that their chatter is just white noise with no meaning or intent behind it.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-53\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2158\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-18-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Hand opening door with chain\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-18-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-18-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-18-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-18-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-18.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-54\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Long-Term_Protection_Healing\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Long-Term Protection &amp; Healing\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-55\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The healing process is the rebuilding of self worth you lost during the devaluation stage. This is part of the trauma recovery. Yes, as extreme as that sounds, you are truly recovering from trauma during your healing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-56\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By using proven techniques for emotional support like journaling, therapy, and coaching to accept and acknowledge the trauma and work through the damage that was done during your abuse.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-58\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As you are working on healing and rebuilding this is the perfect time to also take a look at the patterns so that you don\u2019t find yourself in a repeat situation.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-59\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2159\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-19-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Person writing with a steaming cup.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-19-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-19-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-19-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-19-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/01\/generated-image-2026-01-31-19.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-60\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So asking does a narcissist come back, truly isn\u2019t a question the real questions is when and how will the narcissist come back, and part of your healing is knowing that they are not coming back for love.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-61\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a narcissist comes back it\u2019s for supply or revenge, they do not understand the emotion of love and wanting to be a true partner, they are looking for a\u00a0 powerful individual to conquer and control.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-63\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Protecting yourself from the abuse is not selfish. Protecting yourself is necessary for survival. You would protect yourself from being injured riding a bike right, protecting your emotional well being is the same thing, just different protective tools.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-65\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You have the right and the responsibility to yourself to heal without reopening the woulds that you are healing and opening new ones. By falling back into the abuse cycle that is what happens and your healing next time will be even harder.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-66\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Truly I think the narcissist counts on it becoming harder each time, until you eventually just give up and accept that you are to do what is expected of you and not ask for anything. This is when they have finally finished you off and are now ready to move on.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you recognize these signs or feel trapped in a narcissistic relationship, please know that you&#8217;re not alone \u2013 and it&#8217;s not your fault.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your healing journey matters, and support is available. Visit themarymcconnell.com for free educational resources, recovery tools, and a community of survivors who understand exactly what you&#8217;re going through.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For immediate help: \u2022 National Domestic Violence Hotline:<\/span><\/i><a href=\"https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/<\/span><\/i><\/a><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> | Ca<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">ll 1-800-799-7233 \u2022 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 \u2022 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your voice matters. If you have additional resources that have helped you, please share them in the comments below \u2013 together we can create a network of support for everyone who needs it.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you dealt with a narcissist? Your story could help someone else recognize the signs or feel less alone. Share your experience in the comments if you feel comfortable doing so.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember: You deserve love that feels safe, not chaotic. You deserve respect, not manipulation. You deserve healing, and it&#8217;s possible. \ud83d\udc99<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Looking for more guidance on narcissism and recovery from narcissistic abuse? Explore our collection of expert articles on recognizing toxic patterns, healing, and reclaiming your confidence. Start your journey to empowerment and emotional freedom with these helpful blog posts.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-eyes\/\">The Hidden Meaning Behind the Narcissist Eyes<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/why-do-narcissists-want-to-hurt-you\/\">Why Do Narcissists Want to Hurt You: The Truth Behind Their Manipulative Behavior<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-expose-a-narcissist\/\">How to Expose a Narcissist Safely Without Falling Into Their Trap<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/what-does-narc-mean\/\">What Does Narc Mean? A Deep Dive into Narcissism and Its Impact on Relationships<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-and-the-silent-treatment\/\">Narcissist and the Silent Treatment: How to Recognize, Respond and Reclaim Your Voice<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-at-work\/\">Dealing with a Narcissist at Work: 9 Survival Strategies to Protect Your Sanity and Career<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-shut-down-a-narcissist\/\">How to Shut Down a Narcissist: 7 Powerful Responses to Silence Them<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-traits-in-males\/\">Narcissistic Traits in Males: 12 Disturbing Signs You Can\u2019t Ignore<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/do-narcissists-know-they-are-narcissists\/\">Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists? The Truth About Their Self-Perception and Denial<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-does-the-narcissist-feel-when-you-move-on\/\">How Does the Narcissist Feel When You Move On: The Shocking Truth They Don\u2019t Want You to Know!<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/are-narcissists-evil\/\">Are Narcissists Evil or Products of Their Past?<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-love-bombing\/\">Narcissist Love Bombing: How to Spot the Signs Before It\u2019s Too Late<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-quotes\/\">40 Eye-Opening Narcissist Quotes That Reveal How Narcissists Think and Manipulate<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/what-causes-narcissism\/\">What Causes Narcissism: Find Out About Its Origins<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/signs-you-are-healing-from-narcissistic-abuse\/\">10 Empowering Signs You\u2019re Healing from Narcissistic Abuse<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/things-narcissists-say\/\">Things Narcissists Say: 18 Classic Phrases That Reveal Their True Personality<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-family\/\">The Toxic Dynamics of a Narcissistic Family: How Control and Silence Keep the Cycle Alive<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-victim-syndrome\/\">Narcissistic Victim Syndrome: Everything You Need to Know<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/can-a-narcissist-change-for-the-right-woman\/\">Can a Narcissist Change for the Right Woman? Why Love Alone Isn\u2019t Enough to Fix Them<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/long-term-effects-of-narcissistic-abuse\/\">Understanding and Overcoming the Long-Term Effects of Narcissistic Abuse<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-break-up-with-a-narcissist\/\">How to Break Up with a Narcissist: The Step-by-Step Guide to Leaving Without Losing Yourself<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-are-narcissists-created\/\">How Are Narcissists Created: Uncovering the Deep-Rooted Causes of Narcissism<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/stages-of-narcissistic-abuse\/\">The Stages of Narcissistic Abuse Explained and How to Break the Cycle<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/no-contact-with-the-narcissist\/\">The Ultimate Guide to No Contact with the Narcissist: How to Stay Strong, Set Boundaries and Heal for Good<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-talk-to-a-narcissist\/\">How to Talk to a Narcissist Without Getting Manipulated<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You thought it was over\u2014then they came back. You left and healed, but does a narcissist come back? Oh yes and when&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2809,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"default","_kad_post_title":"default","_kad_post_layout":"default","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"default","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"default","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[76],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2149","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-narcissistic-manipulation-tactics"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":76,"label":"Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Re-EDIT-69.jpg",1024,576,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Mary McConnell","author_link":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/author\/marymc206outlook-com\/"},"comment_info":"","category_info":[{"term_id":76,"name":"Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics","slug":"narcissistic-manipulation-tactics","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":76,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Discover the most common narcissistic manipulation tactics, from gaslighting and blame-shifting to guilt and control, so you can spot the patterns and protect yourself.","parent":0,"count":21,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":76,"category_count":21,"category_description":"Discover the most common narcissistic manipulation tactics, from gaslighting and blame-shifting to guilt and control, so you can spot the patterns and protect yourself.","cat_name":"Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics","category_nicename":"narcissistic-manipulation-tactics","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2149","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2149"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2149\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2940,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2149\/revisions\/2940"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2809"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2149"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2149"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2149"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}