{"id":2285,"date":"2026-03-01T11:20:02","date_gmt":"2026-03-01T11:20:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/?p=2285"},"modified":"2026-04-07T12:04:45","modified_gmt":"2026-04-07T12:04:45","slug":"friendship-with-a-narcissist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/friendship-with-a-narcissist\/","title":{"rendered":"Friendship with a Narcissist: 9 Truths You Need to Know Before It Drains You"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2759\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Re-EDIT-48.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"2240\" height=\"1260\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not all toxic relationships are romantic, some are hiding in plain sight as \u201cfriendships.\u201d You do not have to be in a romantic relationship with a narcissist to feel the abuse, it can be a family member or even a friend. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Friendship with a narcissist can damage you just as much as a romantic relationship with a narcissist.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In a healthy friendship you are able to openly and honestly express your thoughts and feelings. In a friendship with a narcissist it is always about them, and when you are allowed to speak you have to be careful what you say to not upset them.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I want to share 9 truths that explain why friendship with a narcissist is emotionally exhausting and what options and tools you have available to protect yourself and yes even escape is necessary.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_81 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/friendship-with-a-narcissist\/#Is_it_possible_to_maintain_a_friendship_with_a_narcissist\" >Is it possible to maintain a friendship with a narcissist?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/friendship-with-a-narcissist\/#9_Truths_You_Need_to_Know_About_Friendship_with_a_Narcissist\" >9 Truths You Need to Know About Friendship with a Narcissist\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/friendship-with-a-narcissist\/#Psychological_and_Emotional_Toll_of_Narcissistic_Friendships\" >Psychological and Emotional Toll of Narcissistic Friendships\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/friendship-with-a-narcissist\/#Why_You_Stay_Trauma_Bonds_and_False_Loyalty\" >Why You Stay: Trauma Bonds and False Loyalty\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/friendship-with-a-narcissist\/#How_to_end_friendship_with_a_narcissist\" >How to end friendship with a narcissist?<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Is_it_possible_to_maintain_a_friendship_with_a_narcissist\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is it possible to maintain a friendship with a narcissist?<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2287\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Person holding a mug indoors.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Conditional Possibility &#8211; You might be able to stay friends but you will need strong boundaries and impenetrable protection tools. Remember a narcissist is always looking for an opening to gain control.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional Cost vs. Value \u2013 When you feel you have a genuine connection you need to look at that connection and decide if it is worth your emotional well being and sense of self worth. In a friendship with a narcissist you are only providing supply not connecting<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Self-Preservation Strategies \u2013 You can limit vulnerability and manage expectations, in a friendship with a narcissist and prioritize your well-being, while maintaining the friendship but you have to be diligent in enforcing the boundaries.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When the Narcissist Is Your Ex \u2013 When the &#8220;let\u2019s stay friends&#8221; conversation with your narcissistic ex and you agreed, the friendship with a narcissist ex is only for them to spy on you and keep the connection for when they need your supply again.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hidden Motives Behind \u201cStaying Friends\u201d \u2013 From the narc\u2019s perspective, the friendship with a narcissist is to manipulate, spy, or sabotage your healing and future relationships. They do not want you to move on, they need to stay close enough to prevent that from happening.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"9_Truths_You_Need_to_Know_About_Friendship_with_a_Narcissist\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">9 Truths You Need to Know About Friendship with a Narcissist\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2288\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-1-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Person arranging stones on pathway\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-1-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-1-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-1-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-1-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-1.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">1. The Friendship Is Always About Them<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you had that friend that you have a major accomplishment, and they cut you off mid-sentence to tell you about their dog that learned to sit.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Now your accomplishment is forgotten, or a major sadness and now they have a hang nail that is way more important. No matter what you do they need to be the center of attention.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are telling someone about major events that are happening in your life and they divert the conversation to something in their life without even giving you any kind of admiration but instead needing all attention in their direction. That is a red flag of a friendship with a narcissist.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When someone is constantly trying to one up you in a conversation it becomes belittling. I\u2019ve found myself shutting down and not wanting to engage because there seems to be no point or purpose; it is always going to be about them anyways.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are in a friendship with a narcissist, slowly distancing yourself is your best game plan. You have to ease away and don\u2019t expect that they are going to change if you talk to them about it. Then the rumors become that they are in a friendship with a narcissist.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2289\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-2-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Group of friends chatting in caf\u00e9.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-2-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-2-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-2-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-2-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-2.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">2. They Use Your Vulnerabilities Against You<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you confide confidential information while in a friendship with a narcissist it is transformed into swords that will later stab you when you least expect it. You have to hold your secrets close when you have a narcissist in your life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>During my escape, I had a friend I was helping a friend I thought was also trying to escape. Later she didn&#8217;t like a boundary I set so they moved out and a few months later started talking to my ex, while we were still in settlement court.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are in a friendship with a narcissist you feel like you can trust them, but unfortunately, they are gathering information that will be used against you later, when they are not getting the supply the need from you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re in a friendship with a narcissist, don\u2019t overshare, don\u2019t share confidential information. You can share in a general sense and discuss things in a general sense but they don\u2019t need details that could hurt you if they were shared.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2290\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-3-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Notebook, stone, cup, and note.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-3-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-3-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-3-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-3-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-3.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">3. They Disappear When You Need Them Most<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re in a friendship with a narcissist when you are going through hard times or celebrating something major, are they there? Are they giving you as much support as you would give them if the situation was reversed?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If your in a friendship with a narcissist you will notice that they are not there when you need them no matter how much they claim they are. They might be on the phone with you while you are going through it, but are they helping you or talking about their problems?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When your in a friendship with a narcissist and are expecting the same level of support in a hard situation and it is all of a sudden not there, that is a problem. You give your effort towards the friendship with a narcissist doing the bare minimum to maintain the relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are in hard times, be realistic, you are not going to be able to count on this person. If you know this going into the hard times your friendship with a narcissist can be put on the back burner, go grey rock and you can reconnect later.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2291\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-5-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Two people conversing in a caf\u00e9.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-5-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-5-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-5-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-5-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-5.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">4. You\u2019re Constantly Walking on Eggshells<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re in a friendship with a narcissist you are constantly walking on eggshells trying not to trigger their anger, jealousy or any kind of mood swing that you\u2019ve experienced. You are living in fear and it is not fair to you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You\u2019ll know you\u2019re in a friendship with a narcissist when they seem jealous instead of joyful for you, when you have an accomplishment. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Or when you are in a hard situation and you are talking about what they are going to wear on their date on Saturday because it is more important.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are constantly on guard and walking on eggshells it\u2019s impossible to be your authentic self. You can end up losing yourself to the narcissistic friend and the world deserves to see how amazing you are.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you feel you are constantly walking on eggshells in your friendship with a narcissist the best thing to do is to try to distance yourself, slowly and steadily, but growing apart is natural, you just need to help it accelerate.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2292\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-6-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Hand holding crumpled paper, phone visible.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-6-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-6-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-6-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-6-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-6.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">5. They Sabotage Your Other Relationships<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are in a friendship with a narcissist you might notice that when you are in any other relationship there is a constant questioning of the other person, whether you are dating someone new or having coffee with a co-worker.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are in a friendship with a narcissist you will notice that they always have something negative to say with a constant influence that you should get away from the new person that is threatening their supply.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are having new relationships constantly sabotaged by having a friendship with a narcissist you are never going to be able to get away from the narcissistic friend because you are never able to create a contact other than them, causing isolation.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re in a friendship with a narcissist and being isolated and discouraged from other friendships. The best thing you can do for yourself is start talking more to the new friends and less to the narcissistic friend.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2293\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-7-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Person opening door in hallway.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-7-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-7-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-7-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-7-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-7.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">6. They Expect Unquestioning Loyalty, but Offer None<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are in a friendship with a narcissist you are expected to answer every call, text, and request, but you are not to expect the same in return. You can not have other friends but they can have as many as they want and can constantly tell you how amazing they are.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When they betray you they shame you for being offended by their betrayal or blame shift the situation to make you the villain and them the victim <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you express boundaries or shown hurt by something they did, you have all of a sudden offended them by trying to protect yourself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are in a friendship with a narcissist you will end up losing possible connections that are real and authentic. When a narcissist is manipulating your viewpoint on the new relationship you will end up shutting it down before you even give it a chance.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You do not need to have only one friend. If you have a connection with someone other than the narcissistic friend explore it. It might open your eyes to signs you never saw before.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2294\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-8-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Person gazing into a mirror.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-8-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-8-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-8-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-8-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-8.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">7. They Mask Manipulation as \u201cTough Love\u201d or \u201cHonesty\u201d<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019d never lie to you or I\u2019m only saying this because I care about you, are clear openers in a conversation in a friendship with a narcissist. This is the I\u2019m going to insult you but I\u2019ll make it sound like I\u2019m trying to help comments.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A friendship with a narcissist is counting on someone to give you authentic truths, but the information they give you is only to get things to turn to their advantage. Their honesty is the honesty of what they want and they will manipulate the facts to get it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You trust your friends to a fault, and when they are giving you \u201ctough love\u201d you start to think that something is wrong with you, by the delivery they use. In a friendship with a narcissist this isn\u2019t constructive criticism, this is a jab to get a stronger control of you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019ve identified you might be in friendship with a narcissist do not take their opinion to heart. Look for other opinions and detach from their opinion. It is only a guidance statement to get you under their control.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2295\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-9-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Hand lifting clear plastic sheet\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-9-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-9-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-9-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-9-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-9.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">8. You Feel Emotionally Drained After Every Interaction<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You are constantly on stage in a friendship with a narcissist. You have to behave the way they expect, give them the attention they need, and dismiss your feelings and put your life on the back burner in order to be able to give them the supply they require.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If that sounds draining then watch for the red flags that you are in a friendship with a narcissist. If you have left a narcissistically abusive relationship, realize you are going to be drawn to this person because it feels comfortable, because you are used to performing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you have to be in character and can not be your authentic self it\u2019s draining. You feel like you constantly are on the clock avoiding the eggshells that will trigger your friend. In a friendship with a narcissist you are always on call 24\/7 and need to be ready to perform.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You don\u2019t have to perform. You are not part of the actors guild and if you are you\u2019re still not required to be not yourself in a true friendship. If you feel like each time you are with your \u201cfriend\u201d you have to be something you are not. Walk away, you can find someone similar to you.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2296\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-10-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Person walking on a sunny street.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-10-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-10-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-10-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-10-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-10.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">9. They Don\u2019t Want to Lose You\u2014But Only on Their Terms<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In a friendship with a narcissist they will resist your growth and independence and discourage any attempt you are making by trying to distract you with other priorities, usually a critical emergency, like one of five boyfriends dumped them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Watch what the narcissistic friend is throwing at you. Is it truly for your benefit or is it to hold you back to keep you to their level. A narcissist is known to have a sense of grandeur, so you exceeding their achievements is an alarm to their image.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you constantly have someone that you think is being supportive, but behind the encouragement is trying to stop you it will hit your subconscious and diminish or eliminate your drive and determination to accomplish your goal.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are in a friendship with a narcissist and are seeking independence or starting to distance, realize you are one of their possessions and they are not going to let you just go, unless it\u2019s on their terms like if you are threatening their image.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Psychological_and_Emotional_Toll_of_Narcissistic_Friendships\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Psychological and Emotional Toll of Narcissistic Friendships\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2297\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-11-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Phone, power bank, plant, water glass\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-11-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-11-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-11-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-11-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-11.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are in a friendship with a narcissist your self-doubt grows as will your anxiety. When you are constantly walking on eggshells trying to say or do the right thing it feels like a job not like something that should be enjoyable and reciprocal. Or you end up with low self-esteem.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are in a friendship with a narcissist you enter a stage of confusion due to cognitive dissonance. You are being told one thing when the reality you see is completely different. Your brain cannot handle the conflicting information.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are in a friendship with a narcissist you need to keep a strong boundary. The narcissist will start toxic patterns that will be normalized. You will wake up one day and think how is this ok, but it had been building to this without resistance all along.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why_You_Stay_Trauma_Bonds_and_False_Loyalty\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why You Stay: Trauma Bonds and False Loyalty\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2298\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-12-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Person giving gift with blank card\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-12-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-12-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-12-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-12-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-12.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are in a friendship with a narcissist you go through the cycles of idealization and devaluation, where you all of a sudden feel like you mean the world to them and you devote your energy towards them, until they start to devalue you and you start to pull away<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019 has an effect on your emotions when you&#8217;re in a friendship with a narcissist, there are times you are not sure if they are your friend or your sworn enemy with a really sweet demeanor.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are in a friendship with a narcissist you are always hoping they will change or return to the true friend you thought they were, you remember the \u201cgood times\u201d but the \u201cgood times\u201d were an act to secure their supply.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You have a fear of confrontation or abandonment that was instilled into you during your friendship with a narcissist. They have programmed you with fear and guilt of a confrontation or abandonment.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_to_end_friendship_with_a_narcissist\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to end friendship with a narcissist?<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2299\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-13-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Vase of roses on wooden table\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-13-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-13-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-13-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-13-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-13.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In a friendship with a narcissist it is vital to set and enforce boundaries. You will always feel like you can trust your \u201cfriend\u201d but you are going to be blinded by this trust to let down your boundaries, it is important to hold your boundaries no matter how they make you feel.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you are in a friendship with a narcissist it is hard to go directly to no contact immediately so start easing into it with reduced contact, if they want to go to the farmers market Saturday you are allowed to have oops made other plans.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The minute you realize you are in a friendship with a narcissist, start rebuilding a new support network away from the narcissist. You need space, it&#8217;s time to build it outside of the narcissistic friend&#8217;s reach.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You are all you got you are all you need! Journal, practice clarity building exercises. Keep reality real, the narcissistic friend is going to manipulate the facts, don\u2019t let their stories destroy your truths. You hold reality, they hold their own version.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2300\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-14-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Hand opening a chained door.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-14-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-14-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-14-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-14-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-14.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A friendship with a narcissist feels like a real connection but unfortunately it\u2019s a conditional arrangement that is draining and the facts and events are manipulated to the extent that it is almost impossible to know the actual truths.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re in a friendship with a narcissist and your instincts are telling you that something is wrong and your well-being is in jeopardy, trust your instincts and run, don&#8217;t walk. Your wellbeing needs to be priority number one.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Healthy friendships are a thing, but unfortunately as we go through life we will have at least one friendship with a narcissist. It\u2019s not if it&#8217;s when and knowing the facts and how to protect yourself are essential keys in coming out in a healthy growing journey.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re noticing signs of narcissistic abuse or you feel stuck in a narcissistic relationship, you\u2019re not alone \u2014 and it\u2019s not your fault. What you\u2019re experiencing is real, and healing is possible.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For more support, visit<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.themarymcconnell.com\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/www.themarymcconnell.com<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> for free educational resources, recovery tools, and guidance to help you recognize toxic patterns, rebuild your self-trust, and move forward safely.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you need immediate help, support is available 24\/7: <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">National Domestic Violence Hotline<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (1-800-799-7233), <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Crisis Text Line<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (Text HOME to 741741), and <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">988<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (Suicide &amp; Crisis Lifeline).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you dealt with a narcissist or recovered from narcissistic abuse? If you feel safe, share your experience in the comments \u2014 your story might be the moment someone else realizes they\u2019re not \u201ccrazy,\u201d they\u2019re being harmed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Looking for more guidance on narcissism and recovery? Explore the related articles below on boundaries, gaslighting, love bombing, and healing after narcissistic abuse to keep building your path to emotional freedom.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-eyes\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Hidden Meaning Behind the Narcissist Eyes<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/why-do-narcissists-want-to-hurt-you\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why Do Narcissists Want to Hurt You: The Truth Behind Their Manipulative Behavior<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-expose-a-narcissist\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Expose a Narcissist Safely Without Falling Into Their Trap<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/what-does-narc-mean\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What Does Narc Mean? A Deep Dive into Narcissism and Its Impact on Relationships<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-and-the-silent-treatment\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissist and the Silent Treatment: How to Recognize, Respond and Reclaim Your Voice<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-at-work\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dealing with a Narcissist at Work: 9 Survival Strategies to Protect Your Sanity and Career<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-shut-down-a-narcissist\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Shut Down a Narcissist: 7 Powerful Responses to Silence Them<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-traits-in-males\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissistic Traits in Males: 12 Disturbing Signs You Can\u2019t Ignore<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/do-narcissists-know-they-are-narcissists\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists? The Truth About Their Self-Perception and Denial<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-does-the-narcissist-feel-when-you-move-on\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How Does the Narcissist Feel When You Move On: The Shocking Truth They Don\u2019t Want You to Know!<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/are-narcissists-evil\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are Narcissists Evil or Products of Their Past?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-love-bombing\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissist Love Bombing: How to Spot the Signs Before It\u2019s Too Late<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-quotes\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">40 Eye-Opening Narcissist Quotes That Reveal How Narcissists Think and Manipulate<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/what-causes-narcissism\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What Causes Narcissism: Find Out About Its Origins<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/signs-you-are-healing-from-narcissistic-abuse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">10 Empowering Signs You\u2019re Healing from Narcissistic Abuse<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/things-narcissists-say\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Things Narcissists Say: 18 Classic Phrases That Reveal Their True Personality<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-family\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Toxic Dynamics of a Narcissistic Family: How Control and Silence Keep the Cycle Alive<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-victim-syndrome\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissistic Victim Syndrome: Everything You Need to Know<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/can-a-narcissist-change-for-the-right-woman\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Can a Narcissist Change for the Right Woman? 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