{"id":2303,"date":"2026-02-20T15:37:11","date_gmt":"2026-02-20T15:37:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/?p=2303"},"modified":"2026-04-07T12:42:41","modified_gmt":"2026-04-07T12:42:41","slug":"when-a-narcissist-loses-control","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/when-a-narcissist-loses-control\/","title":{"rendered":"When a Narcissist Loses Control: 12 Behaviors That Reveal Their True Self"},"content":{"rendered":"<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2768\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Re-EDIT-52.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"2240\" height=\"1260\" \/><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You finally set a boundary and suddenly, when a narcissist loses control, that&#8217;s when their mask slips, revealing an even darker side than you thought existed. <\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Behaviors and tactics you though you knew, but when a narcissist loses control, you were not prepared for. When a narcissist loses control, it is a whole new level.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-2\">When a narcissist loses control, it usually means they feel like they&#8217;ve lost control over you or are not getting enough attention from you. When a narcissist loses control, they scramble to regain it sometimes even lashing out.<\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-3\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you are escaping a narcissistically abusive relationship because you can not handle the abuse, you are about to face a whole new level of manipulative behaviors, when the narcissist loses control no one is safe and nothing is off limits to them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-4\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As we discuss what happens when a narcissist loses control, let\u2019s look at 12 common behaviors, and understand the psychologically that leads up to when a narcissist loses control,\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-4\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019ll provide tips to stay grounded and protected during the rage, because when a narcissist loses control, everything will escalate.<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_81 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/when-a-narcissist-loses-control\/#Why_Control_Is_Everything_to_a_Narcissist\" >Why Control Is Everything to a Narcissist\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/when-a-narcissist-loses-control\/#When_a_narcissist_loses_control_12_Behaviors_That_Reveal_a_Narcissists_True_Self\" >When a narcissist loses control, 12 Behaviors That Reveal a Narcissist\u2019s True Self\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/when-a-narcissist-loses-control\/#The_Psychology_Behind_the_Meltdown\" >The Psychology Behind the Meltdown\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/when-a-narcissist-loses-control\/#What_You_Should_Never_Do_in_Response\" >What You Should Never Do in Response\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/when-a-narcissist-loses-control\/#How_to_Protect_Yourself_During_Their_Collapse\" >How to Protect Yourself During Their Collapse\u00a0<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-5\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why_Control_Is_Everything_to_a_Narcissist\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why Control Is Everything to a Narcissist\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-6\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2306\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-15-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Person standing near a table.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-15-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-15-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-15-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-15-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-15.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-7\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A narcissist needs supply in the form of attention and admiration. When a narcissist is receiving their supply they will also require obedience and full control of their prey. If the prey is trying to regain control that is when a narcissist loses control and lashes out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-8\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A narcissist has an image of what they appear like to others, it\u2019s a false sense that they create in their mind of their grandeur. This story line needs support to be believable so a narcissist will control their prey to ensure their story line has a supporting character.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-9\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a narcissist loses control from their perspective they are losing their image by someone leaving or detaching. Their image is everything to them, so by going no contact and setting boundaries their mind jumps to you are going to expose them. Causing anger or fear.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-10\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"When_a_narcissist_loses_control_12_Behaviors_That_Reveal_a_Narcissists_True_Self\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a narcissist loses control, 12 Behaviors That Reveal a Narcissist\u2019s True Self\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-11\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2307\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-16-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Hand holding strings in dim light.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-16-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-16-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-16-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-16-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-16.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h4 data-rm-block-id=\"block-12\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">1. Narcissistic Rage<\/span><\/h4>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-13\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a narcissist loses control in rage it will be a sudden outburst or verbal attack backed with more aggression than you even knew they possessed. If the narcissist is feeling rejected or exposed. This may be their outlet for all those built up things they were burying.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-14\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It is like a volcano, and when I experienced it, there was a lot of blame shifting and manipulated statements made. It would come from literally nowhere and usually not even anything to do with a real problem more likely a made up issue.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-15\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you come back from a 2-week cruise where you have been with your partner 24\/7 and you start in on checking work emails and voicemails when you get home. You should not be accused of ignoring them, and that you don&#8217;t like them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-17\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2309\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-18-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Two people discussing a document.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-18-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-18-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-18-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-18-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-18.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h4 data-rm-block-id=\"block-18\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">2. Guilt-Tripping and Playing the Victim<\/span><\/h4>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-19\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a narcissist loses control thinking they still have a hold on you, but it is slipping, this is usually a call for more attention. They see that you have time for someone else so that should now be their time as well.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-20\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The statement \u201cAfter everything I\u2019ve done for you\u2026\u201d is a common beginning to the control lose of emotions and accusations. They want more so they want you to think you owe them, you always pay your debts and the narcissist is counting on it this time.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-21\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2310\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-19-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Gift box and flowers at door\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-19-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-19-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-19-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-19-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-19.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h4 data-rm-block-id=\"block-23\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">3. Love Bombing 2.0 (The Hoovering Attempt)<\/span><\/h4>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-24\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ok love bombing worked to get you in the first time so this time they will just take that game up a level to regain the control they\u2019ve lost. This could be over the top apologies or gifts. Or the infamous narcissist quote \u201cI promise to change\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-25\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When my narcissist committed to change I called off the break up, I had learned from last time though and wouldn\u2019t call it off until the appointment with the therapist was booked. He even showed up, and said maybe 8 words, including hello and goodbye. But the breakup was off, I thought he was trying.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-26\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2311\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-20-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Two people in a cozy living room.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-20-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-20-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-20-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-20-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-20.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h4 data-rm-block-id=\"block-28\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">4. Silent Treatment<\/span><\/h4>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-29\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The narcissistic silent treatment is just like it sounds, they honestly think if they ignore you, it will make you want them more and will make you submit to their further torture and abuse. Ok it does work, I fell for it all the time, thinking I wasn\u2019t good enough for them and trying so hard.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-30\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The emotional punishment is designed to install guilt. When we would split up I would text and call and even email trying to get them to notice me, just give me five minutes of attention. I didn\u2019t realize that was how I had been trained to stay obedient.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-31\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2312\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-21-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Phone displaying angry text messages.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-21-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-21-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-21-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-21-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-21.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h4 data-rm-block-id=\"block-32\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">5. Smear Campaigns<\/span><\/h4>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-33\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The smear campaign is reserved for after the discard, if they can\u2019t control you they will set out to destroy you. When a narcissist loses control is when the phrase if\u00a0 I can\u2019t have you no one will, comes from. They truly make it their life\u2019s work to destroy you anyway they can.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-34\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">During a breakup I moved out of state. I can still call home and ask and hear rumors my ex is spreading about me. The funniest thing is every rumor I hear is something they are or have done. Instead of accountability they are using blame shifting.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-35\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2313\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-22-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Laptop displaying surveillance footage indoors\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-22-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-22-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-22-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-22-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-22.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h4 data-rm-block-id=\"block-36\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">6. Gaslighting Intensifies<\/span><\/h4>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-37\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When the narc was gaslighting you if was maintain control, when a narcissist loses control, they have to rewrite history and deny the past abuse to confuse and destabilize you. The prior gaslighting was to make you desire them, now they use the same method to confuse you.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-38\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you have a memory of something it is your memory of how it happened, your feelings and emotions. The events can not be changed but can be interpreted differently. The narcissist wants to change the feelings about what happened to change your view.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-39\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A prank an ex played of an empty condom package in his coat pocket, hurt me, and I cried thinking they were cheating. They just thought it would be funny. Today when they tell the story we apparently both laughed at the prank. No, I cried, you laughed. Maybe I should have seen that flag.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-40\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2314\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-23-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Person gazing at a marked calendar\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-23-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-23-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-23-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-23-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-23.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h4 data-rm-block-id=\"block-41\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">7. Stalking or Monitoring<\/span><\/h4>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-42\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a narcissist loses control of you, they need to know what you are doing without them. So, they need to find a way to get their fix of control by knowing your every move. If you go to a restaurant and post a review they will like it. If you post on social, they will comment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-43\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Direct surveillance is unfortunately not unheard of when a narcissist loses control, they lose all boundaries in methods of regaining it. I actually had one logged into my Alexa playing music, when I realized I also had a camera on that thing, that now even with a new account is blocked.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-44\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2315\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-24-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Three wooden chairs in empty room\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-24-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-24-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-24-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-24-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-24.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h4 data-rm-block-id=\"block-45\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">8. Triangulation<\/span><\/h4>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-46\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Imagine a conversation as a line between two points, well if you add a 3rd line you create a triangle with a pressure point on either side of the points. This way you are not receiving information from only the narc, you now get a second source of this information.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-47\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The problem becomes you start to believe the narc each time they say all my friends agree with me, or John or Sally said they agree. They make up this fake 3rd line to add another pressure point to you, and you stop second guessing them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-48\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My ex would tell me about how other wives let their husbands have girlfriends, it was just common in the area, I could ask another wife. That\u2019s an uncomfortable conversation to have, ok I\u2019ll just trust that everyone lets their husbands have a side thing and let mine too. It didn&#8217;t work. I was still mad.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-49\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2316\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-25-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Hand near phone on wooden table\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-25-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-25-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-25-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-25-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-25.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h4 data-rm-block-id=\"block-50\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">9. Threats or Ultimatums<\/span><\/h4>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-51\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a narcissist loses control of you and they realize you are leaving they may try to make you think you\u2019re making the wrong decision, solely because it\u2019s not the decision they wanted.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-52\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When I left my ex, I heard: you\u2019re going to regret this, no one will ever love you like I did. My response is: Good, I deserve to be loved not manipulated, devalued, and abused. That&#8217;s not what love actually is.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-53\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2317\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-26-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Emotional moment in a living room.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-26-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-26-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-26-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-26-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-26.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h4 data-rm-block-id=\"block-54\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">10. Sudden Emotional Collapse<\/span><\/h4>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-55\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you get to attend the narcissists theatrical performances of a meltdown or fake crying, they honestly do deserve a rotten tomatoes review of their own with the believability of their performances unfortunately they are not real emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-56\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By having a meltdown, natural instinct is to want to care for someone. A narc knows this so when the narcissist loses control they can regain it by all of a sudden showing you this new side of them, you come to comfort and they regain control.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-57\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2318\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-27-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Hand holding pencil near mirror\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-27-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-27-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-27-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-27-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-27.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h4 data-rm-block-id=\"block-58\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">11. Devaluation Attacks<\/span><\/h4>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-59\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a narcissist loses control of their supply one of the first go to\u2019s is devaluation attacking your character or insults disguised as back handed compliments to make you question yourself and your value, if you\u2019re questioning that you want to just stay safe.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-60\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I have had blonde hair most of my life, which comes with a stigma of not being the smartest in the room, I challenge that stigma anyway. My ex would always remind me if I made a mistake small or large, at least your pretty cause you can\u2019t rely on that blonde brain.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-60\">Later it became just &#8220;Thank god you&#8217;re pretty&#8221; then just &#8220;You&#8217;re pretty&#8221; but now in public it looks like he&#8217;s complimenting me, but our inside story lets me know he&#8217;s calling me dumb again.<\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-61\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2319\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-28-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Hand holding phone with social media\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-28-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-28-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-28-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-28-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-28.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h4 data-rm-block-id=\"block-62\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">12. Rapid Shift to a New Source<\/span><\/h4>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-63\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The narc needs their supply, so when a narcissist loses control of their supply they are on immediate high alert for the next person they can control. This is to demonstrate that they will replace you easily and quickly, it\u2019s a scare tactic to get you to beg them to take you back.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-64\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a narcissistic roommate and I parted ways. The first thing they did was start posting social media about their new best friend and how they were so lucky to have each other. It\u2019s designed to cause jealousy in hopes of you returning.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-65\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2321\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-30-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Stacked stones beside a smartphone.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-30-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-30-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-30-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-30-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-30.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-66\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Psychology_Behind_the_Meltdown\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Psychology Behind the Meltdown\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-67\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A narcissist functions with a deep emotional insecurity within them. They mask this with the superiority complex they display towards others. When a narcissist loses control of the supply that is basically holding their complex together they are lost with what to do next.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-68\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As with the abusive cycle of the narcissistic relationship when a narcissist loses control it triggers them to use one of the methods we discussed to try to regain control of their supply. If they lose control, their ego collapses, and panic sets in.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-69\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Psychologists explain that cluster B traits include impulsive and dramatic behavior with emotional dysregulation. This is what is behind the Narcissistic personality disorder, so then a narcissist loses control this is how they believe they should react.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-70\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a narcissist loses control of their supply they actually have to face their own flaws and experience shame when they make a mistake because they no longer have someone to shift the blame to. Most behaviors stem from this feeling of shame.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-71\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2322\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-31-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Hands holding a pot with plant.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-31-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-31-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-31-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-31-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-31.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-72\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_You_Should_Never_Do_in_Response\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What You Should Never Do in Response\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-73\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your natural instinct is to justify or argue, but you have got to bite your tongue. You know the truth, arguing is just going to give them supply and drain you in a circular argument that you won\u2019t even be sure if you won or lost at the end, save your energy and don\u2019t fuel their fire.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-74\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do not seek closure. You will not get closure from a narcissist that\u2019s what the narc is trying to avoid. If you go looking for closure when a narcissist loses control, you\u2019re opening the door for them to reclaim you with a welcome mat.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-75\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Also avoid over-explaining what they did. This is the open window for you guys to discuss what they did and work together to fix it, this is how they gaslight right back into power.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-76\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a narcissist loses control of you, the attacks they launch are not about you, so don\u2019t internalize them. The narcissist is projecting their flaws and their actions onto you to avoid accountability. Don\u2019t question yourself, move forward and keep growing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-77\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you try to \u201cfix\u201d a narcissist that is when the narcissist has you focused only on them solely, they need you in order to get better, and if you show them the truth and they use it to pull you right back into the cycle willingly wanting to be at their call for whatever they need.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-78\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2320\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-29-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Office supplies on a wooden desk\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-29-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-29-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-29-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-29-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-29.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-79\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_to_Protect_Yourself_During_Their_Collapse\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Protect Yourself During Their Collapse\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-80\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">No contact: grey rock, or black rock whatever is appropriate but make a solid effort to minimize communication and engagement. When a narcissist loses control they are looking for every opportunity to regain their control, this gives them just that.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-81\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Build your support system: Therapist, a coach, friends, support groups, anything that feels healthy. Build a community of your own but as you do keep an eye out for the red flags.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-82\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Record keeping: Especially if your safety is a concern, document everything, they pick their nose in front of you, keep a note, ok not really, but you get the idea right? Not only is this helpful to protect you, it can also help you in your healing with seeing patterns.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-83\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Re-center yourself:\u00a0 You\u2019ve been through a lot and the healing journey is not an easy road. Practice grounding exercises and self-validation, find what works best for you. There are hundreds of ideas out there. Have and maintain boundaries with yourself and others first and foremost.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-84\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2323\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-32-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Sunset behind a wooden fence.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-32-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-32-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-32-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-32-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-09-32.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-85\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a narcissist loses control, their true self emerges, the mask falls all the way off, you saw cracks in their mask, that\u2019s how you identified the abuse, this is not the charming persona, but the fragile ego they\u2019ve been hiding behind it<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-86\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While they portray that their reaction is about you and what you\u2019ve done, it\u2019s actually more about them telling you exactly who this person is and was all along, they just had a charming mask hiding it.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-87\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Healing starts when you stop managing their emotions and start protecting your own. You are not responsible for the narcissist reaction when a narcissist loses control you are only responsible for your own actions. <\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-87\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When a narcissist loses control, your job is to protect your safety Let them be them, they will have to be accountable eventually, it&#8217;s not your job to be to fix them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-88\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re noticing signs of narcissistic abuse or you feel stuck in a narcissistic relationship, you\u2019re not alone \u2014 and it\u2019s not your fault. What you\u2019re experiencing is real, and healing is possible.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-89\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For more support, visit<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.themarymcconnell.com\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/www.themarymcconnell.com<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> for free educational resources, recovery tools, and guidance to help you recognize toxic patterns, rebuild your self-trust, and move forward safely.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-90\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you need immediate help, support is available 24\/7: <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">National Domestic Violence Hotline<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (1-800-799-7233), <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Crisis Text Line<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (Text HOME to 741741), and <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">988<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (Suicide &amp; Crisis Lifeline).<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-91\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you experienced when a narcissist loses control or recovered from narcissistic abuse? If you feel safe, share your experience in the comments \u2014 your story might be the moment someone else realizes they\u2019re not \u201ccrazy,\u201d they\u2019re being harmed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-92\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Looking for more guidance on narcissism and recovery? Explore the related articles below on boundaries, gaslighting, love bombing, and healing after narcissistic abuse to keep building your path to emotional freedom.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-94\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-eyes\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Hidden Meaning Behind the Narcissist Eyes<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-95\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/why-do-narcissists-want-to-hurt-you\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why Do Narcissists Want to Hurt You: The Truth Behind Their Manipulative Behavior<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-96\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-expose-a-narcissist\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Expose a Narcissist Safely Without Falling Into Their Trap<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-97\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/what-does-narc-mean\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What Does Narc Mean? A Deep Dive into Narcissism and Its Impact on Relationships<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-98\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-and-the-silent-treatment\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissist and the Silent Treatment: How to Recognize, Respond and Reclaim Your Voice<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-99\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-at-work\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dealing with a Narcissist at Work: 9 Survival Strategies to Protect Your Sanity and Career<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-100\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-shut-down-a-narcissist\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Shut Down a Narcissist: 7 Powerful Responses to Silence Them<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-101\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-traits-in-males\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissistic Traits in Males: 12 Disturbing Signs You Can\u2019t Ignore<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-102\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/do-narcissists-know-they-are-narcissists\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists? 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Why Love Alone Isn\u2019t Enough to Fix Them<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-113\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/long-term-effects-of-narcissistic-abuse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Understanding and Overcoming the Long-Term Effects of Narcissistic Abuse<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-114\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-break-up-with-a-narcissist\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Break Up with a Narcissist: The Step-by-Step Guide to Leaving Without Losing Yourself<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-115\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-are-narcissists-created\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How Are Narcissists Created: Uncovering the Deep-Rooted Causes of Narcissism<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-116\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/stages-of-narcissistic-abuse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Stages of Narcissistic Abuse Explained and How to Break the Cycle<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-117\"><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/no-contact-with-the-narcissist\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Ultimate Guide to No Contact with the Narcissist: How to Stay Strong, Set Boundaries and Heal for Good<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You finally set a boundary and suddenly, when a narcissist loses control, that&#8217;s when their mask slips, revealing an even darker 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