{"id":2326,"date":"2026-03-09T12:55:15","date_gmt":"2026-03-09T12:55:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/?p=2326"},"modified":"2026-04-07T12:00:19","modified_gmt":"2026-04-07T12:00:19","slug":"narcissistic-abuse-recovery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/","title":{"rendered":"Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Guide: How to Trust Yourself Again and Finally Heal"},"content":{"rendered":"<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2756\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Re-EDIT-46.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"2240\" height=\"1260\" \/><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-2\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissistic abuse isn\u2019t just painful it will destroy your identity and sense of self trust. You were not and are not the problem, the narc is just scared that you will show that to the world and shatter their fragile ego.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-3\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The scars of narcissistic abuse are not visible. As survivors our scars are inside, in our self-doubt, emotional instability, and lack of self-love. Our identity and sense of self was stripped from us, now it\u2019s time for a healing journey to recover.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-4\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissistic abuse recovery is a long winding bumpy road with a ton of detours along the way, but with the right tools you can rebuild trust in\u00a0 yourself. I\u2019d like to share with you some of the tools and steps I took on my journey that helped me in hopes that they can help others.<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_81 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#Why_Narcissistic_Abuse_Is_So_Damaging_to_the_Self\" >Why Narcissistic Abuse Is So Damaging to the Self\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#The_Stages_of_Narcissistic_Abuse_Recovery\" >The Stages of Narcissistic Abuse Recovery\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#How_to_Rebuild_Trust_in_Yourself_After_Narcissistic_Abuse\" >How to Rebuild Trust in Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#Signs_Youre_Starting_to_Heal\" >Signs You&#8217;re Starting to Heal\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#Common_Triggers_How_to_Handle_Them\" >Common Triggers &amp; How to Handle Them\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-abuse-recovery\/#Emotional_Physical_Self-Care_During_Recovery\" >Emotional &amp; Physical Self-Care During Recovery\u00a0<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-5\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why_Narcissistic_Abuse_Is_So_Damaging_to_the_Self\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why Narcissistic Abuse Is So Damaging to the Self\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2331\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-1-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Cracked vase with golden accents\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-1-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-1-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-1-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-1-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-1.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-6\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">We talk about gaslighting by the narcissist, but during your narcissistic abuse recovery journey you can actually gaslight yourself with self-doubt, negative self-talk, and overthinking, installed in us by constant chronic invalidation by the narcissist.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-7\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">During our narcissistic abuse recovery journey we honestly lose the ability to trust our own emotions, instincts, and decisions. After a prolonged period of being told by the narc that we did all these things wrong, we struggle to trust that we are doing it our way now, and it\u2019s ok.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-8\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In our narcissistic abuse recovery journey we experience emotional addiction. We were on such an emotional roller coaster, that when we finally exit the ride our minds still think that is a normal function almost addicted to the ups and downs which can lead to trauma.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-9\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your mind and emotions are so conditioned and used to the abuse when we leave the abusive pattern it is almost like we crave the abuse again, like it\u2019s missing from our lives and we\u2019re not sure what to do about it, in the narcissistic abuse recovery journey this is what we detox from.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-10\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The narcissist has controlled you during the relationship. They have you already fearful, like you can\u2019t even survive without them. This leaves us in a state of fear of being alone but also a fear of staying. Being alone is always better than being abused.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-11\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I understand, I stayed way longer than I should have because of this same fear. Now that I\u2019ve gone through narcissistic abuse recovery, I want to go back in time, and scream to myself, GO! Yes it\u2019s hard and a lot of work, but everyday is sweeter with freedom.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-12\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Stages_of_Narcissistic_Abuse_Recovery\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Stages of Narcissistic Abuse Recovery\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-13\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2332\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-2-1024x747.png\" alt=\"Winding road leading to sunrise.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"747\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-2-1024x747.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-2-300x219.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-2-768x560.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-2-150x109.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-2.png 1184w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\" data-rm-block-id=\"block-14\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Recognition \u2013 During your narcissistic abuse recovery, recognizing and accepting what you\u2019ve survived is key. You survived an abusive relationship, that takes courage, and resilience that no one but a survivor has.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\" data-rm-block-id=\"block-15\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Separation \u2013 Narcissistic abuse recovery starts with getting out. Physical and emotional separation are necessary. How can you heal if you are still being abused? It\u2019s like putting a band aid over your cut and then trying to cut through the band aid to cut yourself again deeper.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\" data-rm-block-id=\"block-16\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Withdrawal \u2013 In your narcissistic abuse recovery you will feel withdrawl, I know it sounds strange, but this was a regular part of your life, you are grieving the future that was faked to you and bonded by the trauma because it is what you became accustomed to.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\" data-rm-block-id=\"block-17\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Rebuilding \u2013 This is a fun stage. In your narcissistic abuse recovery journey this is where you get to find out who you really are. Take up hobbies, try new things, live like you&#8217;re not with a narc anymore. And start finding what brings a smile to your face and who you are.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\" data-rm-block-id=\"block-18\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Empowerment \u2013 As you begin to find out who you really are in your narcissist abuse recovery journey, you start to like that person you lost in the relationship and you can start to trust yourself again, set healthy boundaries, and live a more joyful life.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-19\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2329\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-572x1024.png\" alt=\"Stages of narcissistic abuse recovery process\" width=\"572\" height=\"1024\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-572x1024.png 572w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-167x300.png 167w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-150x269.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10.png 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 572px) 100vw, 572px\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-20\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_to_Rebuild_Trust_in_Yourself_After_Narcissistic_Abuse\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Rebuild Trust in Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-21\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissistic abuse recovery is undoing what was programmed into us during our relationship. It\u2019s time to start validating your emotions. A narc has told you your feelings were wrong, they are never wrong, they are how you feel. Embarrass your emotions.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-22\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The narcissist has kept you from feeling confident in how you feel, when they remove their gas-lighting and devaluing, we as victims will pick up what they left unfinished because that\u2019s what we always did, even when it destroys us. It\u2019s ok to love yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-23\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the relationship decisions are usually made by the narcissist, when we leave, decision making skills are not something we come with, we have to build this skill. Start with little things. Like what color sheets you like, and work up to the bigger stuff.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-24\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In my relationship I was never allowed to have a pick up, I always had a mom mobile. So one of my first big decisions I made was to buy a pick up instead of a SUV when I needed a car. Is it practical absolutely not, but does it make me happy and piss off my ex, hell yeah.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-25\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">During your narcissistic abuse recovery journey take time to reconnect with yourself and your intuition with journaling or body based awareness (paying attention to your body, mind and emotions). You are shedding trauma and cortisol from your body, you will feel it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-26\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I noticed a belly laugh as one of my first body-based awarenesses. I thought something was wrong with my stomach, I struggled understanding the sensation in my body of this pure joy. But just as you got used to being abused, you can get used to feeling joy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-27\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In your narcissistic abuse recovery journey, take time and find your inner critic, it probably sounds like your voice but the narcissist\u2019s words, it may even begin with their voice. It\u2019s that inner voice that is putting you down, you know it\u2019s them so don\u2019t listen to them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-28\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Even today I still catch a slip now and then when I hear my ex\u2019s voice in my head telling me I\u2019ll never be anything without them, I\u2019m going to fail, I\u2019m going to be alone. Except now instead of listening to the words, I hear a challenge, I like to turn it into motivation instead of destruction.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-29\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissistic abuse recovery needs to include self trust rituals. You are in the process of rebuilding something the narcissist has completely destroyed. Daily affirmations, Personal win tracking and rewarding, and mirror work, yes talk to yourself and express pride of yourself to yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-30\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Self trust rituals sounds like a touchy feely word, but you are doing things you\u2019ve never done before and having self trust is vital to keep up your strength. Personally I reward myself for each win.. It can be little or big, but a reward always.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Daily-Self-Trust-Tracker-Downloadable-Worksheet.pdf\">Daily Self-Trust Tracker dowload<\/a><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-32\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Signs_Youre_Starting_to_Heal\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Signs You&#8217;re Starting to Heal\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-33\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2333\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-3-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Puzzle pieces forming a human silhouette.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-3-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-3-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-3-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-3-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-3.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\" data-rm-block-id=\"block-34\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You no longer obsess over their behavior &#8211; In the beginning of your narcissistic abuse recovery you will still wonder what they are doing and where they are, it\u2019s a habit\/addiction you are in the process of breaking, slowly this fades and you won\u2019t even notice til it\u2019s gone.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\" data-rm-block-id=\"block-35\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You feel anger or sadness without guilt &#8211; What a concept, I bet you didn\u2019t know it\u2019s ok to be angry or sad. A narcissist trains us that it\u2019s bad to have these feelings, because they would have usually been directed towards them, so we were taught to be guilty for these feelings.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\" data-rm-block-id=\"block-36\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You&#8217;re setting boundaries and holding them &#8211; Yes your first one will feel weird, not going to lie about that, but they get easier. I love telling people the word no, now because I understand I don\u2019t have to say yes to what I don\u2019t want to anymore. It\u2019s ok to say No.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\" data-rm-block-id=\"block-37\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You feel safer alone than manipulated together &#8211; After the detox of the trauma bond and emotional damage, being alone feels safe and secure, looking back at the manipulation and feelings I feared for my safety for so long that being alone feels safer than ever.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\" data-rm-block-id=\"block-38\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You\u2019ve stopped blaming yourself for everything &#8211; I accept responsibility for parts of my failed relationship with a narcissist, but I do not blame myself, that\u2019s their job. We are doing the work to improve so if anything is our blame, we are working on it.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-39\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Common_Triggers_How_to_Handle_Them\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Common Triggers &amp; How to Handle Them\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2334\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-4-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Two vases with eucalyptus branches.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-4-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-4-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-4-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-4-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-4.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-40\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">During your narcissistic abuse recovery there will be triggers you will experience. It could be a similar voice, phrase they used, figure in the crowd or a boundary violation by them or even someone else. Prepare for this as best you can, and know that it will phase out.<\/span><\/p>\n<h4 data-rm-block-id=\"block-41\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Practical strategies:<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2335\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-5-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Cozy workspace with notebook and tea\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-5-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-5-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-5-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-5-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-5.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-42\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Grounding techniques &#8211; use breathing techniques, physical activity, visualization whatever works for you. There are tons of techniques out there, but it\u2019s which one works for you. There is no one size fits all in these techniques.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-43\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Somatic practices &#8211; These are techniques that focus on the body and mind connection, again this is not one technique that fixes everybody. You can do the body scan, and add or remove or rework any technique to make it right for you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-44\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Affirmation scripts &#8211; Daily affirmations are a great tool. I do mine right when I wake up. 5 positive things in my life. By doing daily affirmations you can program your mind towards a positive path, to keep you emotionally charged, repeat as needed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-45\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Triggers are signs of recovery, not setbacks. You are leaving a life behind and starting over, there are going to be reminders, but as you create new memories, the triggers can be replaced by happy thoughts.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-46\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I have always had a love for a park and would go with my family as much as possible. In the beginning of my narcissistic abuse recovery journey, that park was full of triggers, I kept going\u00a0 though and making new memories, now the triggers are gone and I don\u2019t remember them at all.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-47\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Emotional_Physical_Self-Care_During_Recovery\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional &amp; Physical Self-Care During Recovery\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2336\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-6-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Hand holding compass by water\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-6-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-6-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-6-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-6-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-6.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-48\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nervous system regulation is a huge step in your narcissistic abuse recovery journey. Routines and schedules are amazing for this. Schedule rest, food, sleep and anything else you need to do, it keeps you organized and knowing what to expect.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-49\"><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tip &#8211; If I have a big thing like court or even a therapy session, I also add additional emotional time blocked out on my calendar. It\u2019s about being prepared.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-50\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotional self-soothing is when you can soothe your own emotions. Do not confuse this with emotional bypass, where we say to ourselves oh I don\u2019t want to feel that so I\u2019m just not going to, I\u2019m fine. No, you&#8217;re skipping over an emotion, not healing it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-51\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One of the first things you will experience in a narcissistic abuse recovery journey is \u201cThe Crash\u201d After going no contact or separating, it feels almost like a detox for an addiction, you feel like you need to check on them, but you also want to sleep for a week. It\u2019s normal.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-52\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Healing is a daily practice; it&#8217;s not a destination on a map. And being wholly healed is different for everyone that goes through this, as is every narcissistic abuse recovery journey. No two of us had an identical situation, so there can not be an identical healing journey.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-53\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-large wp-image-2337\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-7-1024x765.png\" alt=\"Plant growing through cracked pavement\" width=\"1024\" height=\"765\" srcset=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-7-1024x765.png 1024w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-7-300x224.png 300w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-7-768x573.png 768w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-7-150x112.png 150w, https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/generated-image-2026-02-10-7.png 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-54\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You are not broken, you were abused, so yes damaged but that\u2019s why you are on a narcissistic abuse recovery journey. Embrace and love who you are. There is only one of you and the world deserves to know who you truly are not who the narc portrays you as.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-55\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In your personal narcissistic abuse recovery journey keep in mind that healing is returning to self not just returning to peace. You need to take the time to find out who you are and what makes you tick. You\u2019ve had to focus on who the narc is and their likes, do the same for yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-56\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your healing will threaten the narcissist, but it will set you free. When you start to feel healed, you start to get this feeling like a caged animal being set free. It really is what a narcissistic abuse recovery journey is, it\u2019s a path to freedom.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-57\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Knowing that a narcissist thrives on control, your freedom is their biggest fear. As you heal they feel threatened by exposure and you may even encounter narcissistic rage. But keep moving forward on your narcissistic abuse recovery journey.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-58\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I would love to say this is easy: everyone should get away from a narcissist. But it is a battle daily. No two of us will go down the same path on our narcissistic abuse recovery journey, but as I\u2019ve gone through mine I have learned we are all here for each other on our journeys.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-59\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If I can encourage you to do any one thing on your journey it would be to connect with other survivors. When you are talking with other survivors, they have a better understanding of what you went through, some of what we go through sounds unbelievable to the inexperienced. Stay strong.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re noticing signs of narcissistic abuse or you feel stuck in a narcissistic relationship, you\u2019re not alone \u2014 and it\u2019s not your fault. What you\u2019re experiencing is real, and healing is possible.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For more support, visit<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.themarymcconnell.com\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/www.themarymcconnell.com<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> for free educational resources, recovery tools, and guidance to help you recognize toxic patterns, rebuild your self-trust, and move forward safely.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you need immediate help, support is available 24\/7: <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">National Domestic Violence Hotline<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (1-800-799-7233), <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Crisis Text Line<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (Text HOME to 741741), and <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">988<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (Suicide &amp; Crisis Lifeline).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you dealt with a narcissist or recovered from narcissistic abuse? If you feel safe, share your experience in the comments \u2014 your story might be the moment someone else realizes they\u2019re not \u201ccrazy,\u201d they\u2019re being harmed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Looking for more guidance on narcissism and recovery? Explore the related articles below on boundaries, gaslighting, love bombing, and healing after narcissistic abuse to keep building your path to emotional freedom.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-eyes\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Hidden Meaning Behind the Narcissist Eyes<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/why-do-narcissists-want-to-hurt-you\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why Do Narcissists Want to Hurt You: The Truth Behind Their Manipulative Behavior<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-expose-a-narcissist\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Expose a Narcissist Safely Without Falling Into Their Trap<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/what-does-narc-mean\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What Does Narc Mean? A Deep Dive into Narcissism and Its Impact on Relationships<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-and-the-silent-treatment\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissist and the Silent Treatment: How to Recognize, Respond and Reclaim Your Voice<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-at-work\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dealing with a Narcissist at Work: 9 Survival Strategies to Protect Your Sanity and Career<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-shut-down-a-narcissist\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Shut Down a Narcissist: 7 Powerful Responses to Silence Them<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-traits-in-males\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissistic Traits in Males: 12 Disturbing Signs You Can\u2019t Ignore<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/do-narcissists-know-they-are-narcissists\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists? The Truth About Their Self-Perception and Denial<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-does-the-narcissist-feel-when-you-move-on\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How Does the Narcissist Feel When You Move On: The Shocking Truth They Don\u2019t Want You to Know!<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/are-narcissists-evil\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are Narcissists Evil or Products of Their Past?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-love-bombing\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissist Love Bombing: How to Spot the Signs Before It\u2019s Too Late<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-quotes\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">40 Eye-Opening Narcissist Quotes That Reveal How Narcissists Think and Manipulate<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/what-causes-narcissism\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What Causes Narcissism: Find Out About Its Origins<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/signs-you-are-healing-from-narcissistic-abuse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">10 Empowering Signs You\u2019re Healing from Narcissistic Abuse<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/things-narcissists-say\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Things Narcissists Say: 18 Classic Phrases That Reveal Their True Personality<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-family\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Toxic Dynamics of a Narcissistic Family: How Control and Silence Keep the Cycle Alive<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-victim-syndrome\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissistic Victim Syndrome: Everything You Need to Know<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/can-a-narcissist-change-for-the-right-woman\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Can a Narcissist Change for the Right Woman? Why Love Alone Isn\u2019t Enough to Fix Them<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/long-term-effects-of-narcissistic-abuse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Understanding and Overcoming the Long-Term Effects of Narcissistic Abuse<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-break-up-with-a-narcissist\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Break Up with a Narcissist: The Step-by-Step Guide to Leaving Without Losing Yourself<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-are-narcissists-created\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How Are Narcissists Created: Uncovering the Deep-Rooted Causes of Narcissism<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/stages-of-narcissistic-abuse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Stages of Narcissistic Abuse Explained and How to Break the Cycle<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/no-contact-with-the-narcissist\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Ultimate Guide to No Contact with the Narcissist: How to Stay Strong, Set Boundaries and Heal for Good<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Narcissistic abuse isn\u2019t just painful it will destroy your identity and sense of self trust. You were not and are not the&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2755,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"default","_kad_post_title":"default","_kad_post_layout":"default","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"default","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"default","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[76],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2326","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-narcissistic-manipulation-tactics"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":76,"label":"Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Re-EDIT-45.jpg",1024,576,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Mary McConnell","author_link":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/author\/marymc206outlook-com\/"},"comment_info":"","category_info":[{"term_id":76,"name":"Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics","slug":"narcissistic-manipulation-tactics","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":76,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Discover the most common narcissistic manipulation tactics, from gaslighting and blame-shifting to guilt and control, so you can spot the patterns and protect yourself.","parent":0,"count":19,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":76,"category_count":19,"category_description":"Discover the most common narcissistic manipulation tactics, from gaslighting and blame-shifting to guilt and control, so you can spot the patterns and protect yourself.","cat_name":"Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics","category_nicename":"narcissistic-manipulation-tactics","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2326","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2326"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2326\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2757,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2326\/revisions\/2757"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2755"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2326"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2326"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2326"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}