{"id":2513,"date":"2026-04-17T12:17:38","date_gmt":"2026-04-17T12:17:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/?p=2513"},"modified":"2026-04-17T12:17:38","modified_gmt":"2026-04-17T12:17:38","slug":"narcissist-stonewalling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-stonewalling\/","title":{"rendered":"Narcissist Stonewalling: 8 Reasons They Withhold Communication\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-1\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2789\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Re-EDIT-65.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"2240\" height=\"1260\" \/><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-3\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You ask a simple question, and suddenly you&#8217;re met with silence, an emotional brick wall. The narcissist stonewalling is like a steel gate that flies up around them the minute they are confronted with something they feel could damage their image or ego. And you were honestly just asking a simple question.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-4\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This article is designed to be an ultimate guide to uncovering why narcissists stonewall in the first place and why the narcissist stonewalling affects us victims so hard and how to protect ourselves.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-5\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These are not normal everyday behaviors that we are encountering like someone not answering you because they didn\u2019t hear you or didn\u2019t know the answer. These are blatant walls thrown up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-5\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2536\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Gaslighting-and-silence.png\" alt=\"Tense conversation between two people.\" width=\"1184\" height=\"864\" \/><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_81 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-stonewalling\/#When_Gaslighting_Meets_Silence_The_Anatomy_of_Narcissist_Stonewalling\" >When Gaslighting Meets Silence: The Anatomy of Narcissist Stonewalling\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-stonewalling\/#8_Covert_Motivations_Behind_Narcissist_Stonewalling\" >8 Covert Motivations Behind Narcissist Stonewalling\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-stonewalling\/#The_Emotional_Fallout_on_You\" >The Emotional Fallout on You\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-stonewalling\/#Practical_Responses_How_to_Reclaim_Your_Voice\" >Practical Responses: How to Reclaim Your Voice\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-stonewalling\/#When_Stonewalling_Crosses_the_Line_Abuse_Not_Just_Avoidance\" >When Stonewalling Crosses the Line: Abuse, Not Just Avoidance\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-stonewalling\/#Healing_After_Stonewalling_Rebuilding_Trust_and_Self-Worth\" >Healing After Stonewalling: Rebuilding Trust and Self-Worth\u00a0<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-6\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"When_Gaslighting_Meets_Silence_The_Anatomy_of_Narcissist_Stonewalling\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When Gaslighting Meets Silence: The Anatomy of Narcissist Stonewalling\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-7\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissist stonewalling is like the narcissist silent treatment but emotional is added on. Now not only are they not talking to you they&#8217;re showing absolutely no emotion, this isn&#8217;t healthy. Let&#8217;s step away, regroup, and then discuss. This is healthy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-8\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When the narcissist&#8217;s stonewalling starts it leaves us feeling vulnerable and fearful which is strengthening the narcissist control, add in gaslighting dismissing your feelings and you feel like you are completely wrong in everything and you didn\u2019t know until they gave you this time out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-9\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You are trying to justify the fear you were feeling and the narcissist gaslighting and blame shifting can hit you at your lowest, right when you would give anything for their forgiveness, that\u2019s when you end up taking the responsibility for their actions.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-10\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"8_Covert_Motivations_Behind_Narcissist_Stonewalling\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">8 Covert Motivations Behind Narcissist Stonewalling\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-11\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-2537 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Avoiding-accountability-concept.png\" alt=\"Business meeting with tense interaction.\" width=\"1184\" height=\"864\" \/><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\" data-rm-block-id=\"block-12\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Avoiding Accountability<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-13\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If the narcissist stonewalling starts before the narcissist can be held accountable how can you blame them right? This is the thought process, you didn\u2019t fully hold them responsible because they shut down so now they feel it\u2019s not their fault.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-14\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The emotional fallout on you as the stonewalling drags on is the focus of the conversation is now not what they did wrong it starts to shift to how you react. You asked them to answer, they shut down, and now your response is what they want to focus on.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-15\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This leaves the narc unaccountable for their mistake but your reaction to their mistake is now the headline news, that is the only thing to be discussed. They have totally turned the tables on you without you even doing anything other than try to ask a question.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-15\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-2538 size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Fragile-ego-shield.png\" alt=\"Business meeting behind glass door\" width=\"1184\" height=\"864\" \/><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\" data-rm-block-id=\"block-16\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Preserving a Fragile Ego<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-17\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When the narcissist stonewalling is happening it shields their fragile ego, because if they are not talking or acknowledging you how can you tell them what they did wrong? This lets them avoid the emotional discomfort and possible narcissistic injury.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-18\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Emotionally you are all over the place, you are not sure if they are sorry, mad, or they just don\u2019t care. A normal healthy conversation would go a long way to ease your stress whether it&#8217;s good or bad at least you\u2019d know.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-19\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This emotional instability in your nervous system is wreaking havoc. Your emotions don\u2019t know if they should be sad, scared, relieved, or happy. All of this can almost make you feel emotionally numb, with repeated episodes, your body can think this is a normal state of being.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-19\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2539\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Psychological-control-waiting.png\" alt=\"Woman sitting, focused on phone.\" width=\"1184\" height=\"864\" \/><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\" data-rm-block-id=\"block-21\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Exerting Psychological Control<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-22\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While the narcissist stonewalling is protecting their fragile ego. It\u2019s breeding anxiety and confusion in the victim not knowing what is going on, did they do something wrong? Now as victims we become dependent on the narcissist awaiting their response.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-23\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While we are waiting it feels like waiting for a jury to come back, you don\u2019t know if you said or did the right thing. What if something you said was taken out of context. The stress is eating away at your nerves. Causing a more permanent state of anxiety.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-24\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As your body is constantly in this panic mode waiting for a verdict for a crime you didn\u2019t commit, you become edgy, this is your body reacting to the conditions you are being put into during this narcissist stonewalling.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-24\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2540\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Punishment-without-words.png\" alt=\"Tension between two professionals indoors.\" width=\"1184\" height=\"864\" \/><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\" data-rm-block-id=\"block-25\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Punishing You Without Words<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-26\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissist stonewalling is also used as emotional punishment. The narcissist feels that you have done something wrong to them by pointing out their failure or shortcoming. This is damaging their ego, so they feel they should punish you for hurting their feelings.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This feels like being called the tattle tale in kindergarten but on a bigger playground. You all of a sudden feel like you betrayed them by letting them know they did something wrong. As they continue this pattern, why would you want to? So you stop calling them on their behaviors.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-27\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The narcissist stonewalling when used regularly actually trains you emotionally to not want to tell them when they do something wrong because of how you end up feeling. Once you stop calling them on their bullshit, they have free range to keep doing it and escalate.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-27\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2541\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Manipulating-the-narrative.png\" alt=\"Woman sitting alone at breakfast table\" width=\"1184\" height=\"864\" \/><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\" data-rm-block-id=\"block-28\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Manipulating the Narrative\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-29\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissist stonewalling creates a silence, the silence in the air and mixed emotions allows for enough time to pass that the conversation can shift and distract you from the issue at hand. Like a silent treatment for hours then what do you want to do for dinner?<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-30\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This is not a joke. It sounds so simplistic it wouldn\u2019t work, but during that narcissistic silence period, you are all over the place mentally, and they know this. So throwing out what you want to do for dinner is a relief like ok, that\u2019s over let\u2019s get back to normal.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-31\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember as a child when you got out of time out and you just wanted to get back to what you were doing. This is the same concept only as an adult we are going to discuss dinner like we do everyday at this time, not go back to playing tag.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-31\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2542\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Avoiding-confrontation-throne.png\" alt=\"Woman standing on staircase, contemplative pose.\" width=\"1184\" height=\"864\" \/><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\" data-rm-block-id=\"block-32\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Avoiding Confrontation They Can\u2019t Win<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-33\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If the narcissist knows they can\u2019t win rather than risk a loss of any control, they can use narcissist stonewalling to retreat into a safe space where you can\u2019t blame them right now because they don\u2019t see you.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Think of a king hiding in their throne room while the war is going on outside their door. Honestly that is what the narc pictures themselves as. They are on their throne above all accusations that bore them, so they are not going to see you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-34\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When I use that analogy, I always saw myself as that peasant woman begging for shillings on the castle steps trying to get the king to notice what I had to say. And that truthfully explains how it feels during the narcissist stonewalling.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-34\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2543\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Power-imbalance-silence.png\" alt=\"Couple in emotional distance on sofa.\" width=\"1184\" height=\"864\" \/><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\" data-rm-block-id=\"block-35\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Reinforcing Power Imbalance<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-36\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissist stonewalling leads to psychological distress as it provokes anxiety and confusion. This imbalance reinforces the submission of the victim and breeds more control for the narcissist as the abuse persists.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-37\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The imbalance of power is displayed by the fact that the narc is holding all the power as we have to wait for them to decide when we can talk again. Your brain sees social disconnecting as a threat, as do most people, so you end up constantly scared of this danger.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-38\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The narcissist stonewalling is just a training to keep you constantly on edge, scared to anger the narcissist or you will be punished with this narcissist stonewalling\/social disconnect, which makes you feel like you did something wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-38\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2544\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Shame-and-overwhelm.png\" alt=\"Woman distressed, man standing away.\" width=\"1184\" height=\"864\" \/><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\" data-rm-block-id=\"block-39\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Driven by Shame or Overwhelm<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-40\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And sometimes narcissist stonewalling is projecting deep rooted fears that will make them literally shut down under emotional pressure not sure what to do. There are even times a narcissist isn\u2019t even sure what their fear is, they just know they feel this inadequacy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-41\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A narcissist feels inadequate; they use their narcissistic ego to project that they do not have these inadequacies. The problem is the inadequacies are still present. So, by shifting the inadequacies onto their victim, the inadequacy is there, but it\u2019s now because the victim is causing it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-42\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The narcissistic stonewalling is happening so that the narcissist can keep this belief that it\u2019s not them it\u2019s being caused by someone else&#8217;s doing. The doing is actually just pointing out their issue to them as their own and no one else\u2019s causing it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-42\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2545\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Emotional-fallout-anxiety.png\" alt=\"Woman sitting, looking pensive and anxious.\" width=\"1184\" height=\"864\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-44\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Emotional_Fallout_on_You\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Emotional Fallout on You\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-45\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As a victim of narcissist stonewalling, confusion is just the beginning. As you\u2019re left sitting in silence not knowing their stance on things, your mind races with ideas and thoughts, not knowing starts causing anxiety, all the what ifs hit you during their silence.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-46\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As the anxiety increases it leads to self-doubt, maybe you&#8217;re wrong instead of them having done something, this will then diminish your self-esteem by not allowing you to trust yourself and you start to believe their warped reality out of exhaustion.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-47\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As you become more and more exhausted by the narcissist stonewalling they will start adding in gaslighting to deepen the confusion and manipulate you emotionally causing you to spiral further into anxiety and self doubt.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-48\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Practical_Responses_How_to_Reclaim_Your_Voice\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Practical Responses: How to Reclaim Your Voice\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2546\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Gray-Rock-Method-Emotional-Distance-and-Protection.png\" alt=\"Smooth gray stone on white background\" width=\"1184\" height=\"864\" \/><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-49\"><strong>Grey Rock Method \u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-50\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If and when you communicate after the narcissist stonewalling try to remain calm and emotionally neutral in your communication. This is lessening the supply to the narcissist and keeping you with some control.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-50\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2551\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Boundary-setting-woman.png\" alt=\"Confident woman in professional attire.\" width=\"1184\" height=\"864\" \/><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-51\"><strong>Set and Enforce Boundaries \u2013<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-52\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After the narcissist stonewalling game is done they are going to test to see where your boundaries are. While you are in the silent zone start thinking about what your boundaries will be and then state them clearly and stick to them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-52\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2548\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Avoid-emotional-chasing.png\" alt=\"Woman walking in sunlit room.\" width=\"1184\" height=\"864\" \/><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-53\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Avoid Emotional Chasing \u2013<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-54\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember that the narc feeds on attention. So, when narcissist stonewalling is taking place try to not feed them with attention, trying to get them to open up and forgive you. Let them sit and wait it out, not sit there feeding on the attention.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-54\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2549\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/I-statements-conversation.png\" alt=\"Two women engaged in conversation\" width=\"1184\" height=\"864\" \/><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-55\"><strong>Use &#8220;I&#8221; Statements \u2013\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-56\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When the conversation resumes try to use \u201cI\u201d statements, like \u201cI feel hurt, when you dismiss my opinion\u201d instead of \u201cYou always ignore me!\u201d. By using \u201ci\u201d statements you reduce their defensiveness and reclaim your perspective.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-56\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2550\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Seek-support-journaling.png\" alt=\"Woman journaling at a cozy table\" width=\"1184\" height=\"864\" \/><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-58\"><strong>Seek Support \u2013\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-59\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Surviving narcissist stonewalling isn\u2019t a one time event, tactics will change having others to discuss what you are seeing in therapy or a support group is a huge help in sorting out the confusion. If you\u2019re not ready, then journaling lets you revisit what happened in your own voice for reflection.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-59\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2552\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Abuse-not-avoidance.png\" alt=\"Woman standing in empty room.\" width=\"1184\" height=\"864\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-60\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"When_Stonewalling_Crosses_the_Line_Abuse_Not_Just_Avoidance\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When Stonewalling Crosses the Line: Abuse, Not Just Avoidance\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-61\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissist stonewalling isn\u2019t just avoiding conflict it is a manipulative emotional control mechanism used to cause confusion and emotional dysfunction in the victim. <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Stonewalling can be seen in patterns, journaling can help determine if it was a onetime thing or a pattern of abuse. `<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-62\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you feel like you are in an abusive situation I cannot emphasize to you enough to prioritize your emotional safety as you would your physical safety. Consider talking to a counselor or therapist or visit a support group, and take a step back if necessary.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-62\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2554\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Healing-self-worth.png\" alt=\"Woman in suit standing by window\" width=\"1184\" height=\"864\" \/><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-63\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Healing_After_Stonewalling_Rebuilding_Trust_and_Self-Worth\"><\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Healing After Stonewalling: Rebuilding Trust and Self-Worth\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-64\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">During the narcissist stonewalling, parts of you were eaten away now to heal it\u2019s time to focus inward and start to develop healthy communication skills. No it\u2019s not that you don\u2019t know them, you are just out of practice, you can\u2019t have healthy communication with an unhealthy person.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-65\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You will also want to work on emotional rebuilding and redefining how you actually feel about things, not how you are told you feel about them. As you continue on your healing journey these and other focuses can help you to rebuild your self-esteem.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-66\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As you go through the emotional healing journey always remember there is nothing wrong with you. <\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-66\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You just had programming done on you that you need to reprogram. You are an emotionally healthy person; you just have some wires the narc crossed and that shorted out.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 data-rm-block-id=\"block-67\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2555\" src=\"http:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Final-thoughts-protection.png\" alt=\"Woman in stylish outfit, bright room\" width=\"1184\" height=\"864\" \/><\/h2>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-68\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The reasons why the narcissist stonewalling helps them and hurts you are there. Understanding the \u201cwhy\u201d helps but it doesn\u2019t heal. Establishing an emotional detachment and possibly a physical detachment is the first step towards healing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-69\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As you read through these 8 reasons, the common factor in all of them is that they are for the narcissist&#8217;s best interest. <\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-69\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not once does a narcissist take this action to protect you or your well-being. But I bet you would do anything to protect them over you?<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-rm-block-id=\"block-70\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Give yourself the same protection that you would the narcissist. While they may have programmed in you that they are more important. It\u2019s time to stand up and make you the most important person that you protect emotionally.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you\u2019re noticing signs of narcissistic abuse or you feel stuck in a narcissistic relationship, you\u2019re not alone \u2014 and it\u2019s not your fault. What you\u2019re experiencing is real, and healing is possible.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For more support, visit<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.themarymcconnell.com\/\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/www.themarymcconnell.com<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> for free educational resources, recovery tools, and guidance to help you recognize toxic patterns, rebuild your self-trust, and move forward safely.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you need immediate help, support is available 24\/7: <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">National Domestic Violence Hotline<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (1-800-799-7233), <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Crisis Text Line<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (Text HOME to 741741), and <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">988<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (Suicide &amp; Crisis Lifeline).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Have you dealt with a narcissist or recovered from narcissistic abuse? If you feel safe, share your experience in the comments \u2014 your story might be the moment someone else realizes they\u2019re not \u201ccrazy,\u201d they\u2019re being harmed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Looking for more guidance on narcissism and recovery? Explore the related articles below on boundaries, gaslighting, love bombing, and healing after narcissistic abuse to keep building your path to emotional freedom.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-eyes\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Hidden Meaning Behind the Narcissist Eyes<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/why-do-narcissists-want-to-hurt-you\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why Do Narcissists Want to Hurt You: The Truth Behind Their Manipulative Behavior<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-expose-a-narcissist\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Expose a Narcissist Safely Without Falling Into Their Trap<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/what-does-narc-mean\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What Does Narc Mean? A Deep Dive into Narcissism and Its Impact on Relationships<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-and-the-silent-treatment\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissist and the Silent Treatment: How to Recognize, Respond and Reclaim Your Voice<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-at-work\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dealing with a Narcissist at Work: 9 Survival Strategies to Protect Your Sanity and Career<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-shut-down-a-narcissist\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Shut Down a Narcissist: 7 Powerful Responses to Silence Them<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-traits-in-males\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissistic Traits in Males: 12 Disturbing Signs You Can\u2019t Ignore<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/do-narcissists-know-they-are-narcissists\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists? The Truth About Their Self-Perception and Denial<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-does-the-narcissist-feel-when-you-move-on\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How Does the Narcissist Feel When You Move On: The Shocking Truth They Don\u2019t Want You to Know!<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/are-narcissists-evil\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Are Narcissists Evil or Products of Their Past?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-love-bombing\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissist Love Bombing: How to Spot the Signs Before It\u2019s Too Late<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissist-quotes\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">40 Eye-Opening Narcissist Quotes That Reveal How Narcissists Think and Manipulate<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/what-causes-narcissism\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What Causes Narcissism: Find Out About Its Origins<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/signs-you-are-healing-from-narcissistic-abuse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">10 Empowering Signs You\u2019re Healing from Narcissistic Abuse<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/things-narcissists-say\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Things Narcissists Say: 18 Classic Phrases That Reveal Their True Personality<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-family\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Toxic Dynamics of a Narcissistic Family: How Control and Silence Keep the Cycle Alive<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/narcissistic-victim-syndrome\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Narcissistic Victim Syndrome: Everything You Need to Know<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/can-a-narcissist-change-for-the-right-woman\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Can a Narcissist Change for the Right Woman? Why Love Alone Isn\u2019t Enough to Fix Them<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/long-term-effects-of-narcissistic-abuse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Understanding and Overcoming the Long-Term Effects of Narcissistic Abuse<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-to-break-up-with-a-narcissist\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How to Break Up with a Narcissist: The Step-by-Step Guide to Leaving Without Losing Yourself<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/how-are-narcissists-created\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How Are Narcissists Created: Uncovering the Deep-Rooted Causes of Narcissism<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/stages-of-narcissistic-abuse\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Stages of Narcissistic Abuse Explained and How to Break the Cycle<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/no-contact-with-the-narcissist\/\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Ultimate Guide to No Contact with the Narcissist: How to Stay Strong, Set Boundaries and Heal for Good<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You ask a simple question, and suddenly you&#8217;re met with silence, an emotional brick wall. The narcissist stonewalling is like a steel&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2790,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"default","_kad_post_title":"default","_kad_post_layout":"default","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"default","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"default","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[76],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2513","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-narcissistic-manipulation-tactics"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":76,"label":"Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Re-EDIT-66.jpg",1024,576,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Mary McConnell","author_link":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/author\/marymc206outlook-com\/"},"comment_info":"","category_info":[{"term_id":76,"name":"Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics","slug":"narcissistic-manipulation-tactics","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":76,"taxonomy":"category","description":"Discover the most common narcissistic manipulation tactics, from gaslighting and blame-shifting to guilt and control, so you can spot the patterns and protect yourself.","parent":0,"count":20,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":76,"category_count":20,"category_description":"Discover the most common narcissistic manipulation tactics, from gaslighting and blame-shifting to guilt and control, so you can spot the patterns and protect yourself.","cat_name":"Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics","category_nicename":"narcissistic-manipulation-tactics","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2513","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2513"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2513\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2791,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2513\/revisions\/2791"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2790"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2513"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2513"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themarymcconnell.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2513"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}