Beautiful but dangerous—just like narcissistic charm. Approach with caution. Ever felt like a man in your life is manipulating, controlling, or draining you emotionally? Ever wonder if you’re dealing with narcissistic traits in males or just a jerk.
Narcissistic traits in males can be compared to the saying “having a big head” but on steroids. There is actually a spectrum. You are not a narcissist if you think you’re good at what you do.
You are demonstrating narcissistic traits as a male, if you think you’re the best, untouchable, no one is better than you and everyone should be thankful that you graced them with your appearance.
Yes, that sounds like an extreme range, but you need to know the signs of when a big head becomes an unhealthy abusive situation, with displays of the male narcissist traits and if you’re in the midst of the manipulation you may not see the actual signs until it’s too late.
I’ll be walking you through the 12 disturbing traits of narcissistic traits in males, so you can be alert if these traits start to develop in a male in your life.
Also Check out: Are Narcissists Evil or Products of Their Past?
12 Narcissistic Traits in Males
1. Grandiose Sense of Self-Importance
Ok movie reference sorry. I call this Big Ern syndrome. If you have ever seen the movie Kingpin (1996) You know.
This movie demonstrates exactly what narcissistic traits in males looks like, ok they are not all bald and bowlers, but I think you get this idea. He thinks he’s better than anyone, everyone wants to be him.
His superiority complex is a perfect example of grandiose sense of self-importance. One of the narcissistic traits in males, the way he believes everyone adores and loves him and he does no wrong.
A narcissist is in constant search and need of admiration and superiority because they know they are nothing. They are built by the empath that empowers them.
Ok I know this narcissistic trait in males is hard to see. But do they take a romantic weekend and turn it into a celebration of them and all they have accomplished.
Or in a meeting about one thing, talk about all their contributions to a project.
my personal favorite, had a rough day, trying to talk about it, it’s nothing you should see what they went through.
I mean they might have stubbed their toe, while you were in the ER with a panic attack they couldn’t right away rule out a heart attack.
2. Lack of Empathy: Cold and Emotionally Detached
One of the most common narcissistic traits in males is they lack empathy. They use the words but have no clue what feelings actually are. This leads them to not being able to read feelings or understand them.
If you are trying to talk to a male narcissist about feelings and you receive a robotic response, this would be a subtle narcissistic trait in males.
The clear sign that you can see the narcissistic traits in a male is actually in the heat of an emotional event, they will appear indifferent.
They want it to appear like they are in control of their emotions. But in reality, their emotions are dead, and they truly do not have feelings like everyone else.
When I showed emotions, I was advised that I was being a child. A child that cries when a friend or family member passes on. This narcissistic trait in a male is what can emotionally crush you if you don’t spot it.
A narcissist will let you know you are being childish when you have emotions. This invalidation is a mark of narcissistic traits in males; it’s the stunted emotional growth shining through.
3. Constant Need for Validation and Attention
One overlooked narcissistic trait in males is their complete lack of emotional awareness. They have a constant desire for admiration and external approval and desire. But only they are supposed to have feelings.
The biggest blow to a narcissist is that someone thinks badly of them. They are superior in their mind, this emotional disconnect is a core trait of narcissistic personality disorder.
If a narcissist is not the center of attention or not being given their supply, they will make it known that this is not acceptable. This is when you see an “emotional” side to a narcissist.
It is a childish emotion but none the less they will show you a perfect example of a narcissistic trait in males.
You know how they say out of a child’s mouth. The way a child will just walk up with pure innocence and ask a silly question in the middle of an adult conversation.
The narcissist will do the same thing but without the innocence factor. They will break into conversations almost as if they are saying. Me. Me. Me. See me!!!!! Pay attention to me!!!!!!!!
4. Manipulative and Controlling Behavior
When you speak to these men especially one displaying clear narcissistic traits in males’ signs, you know that the narcissist is going to use the words coming out of your mouth but most likely in a different way.
This is one of narcissistic traits in males, they can literally take what you say, twist it, use it in their gaslighting and then emotionally manipulate you into thinking your words came out differently than what they actually did.
By taking your words and twisting them in just the right way, they have changed the full meaning of what you said. By using this technique, they can now make themselves the victim and you the predator, instead of the true way things happened.
5. A Deep Sense of Entitlement
A narcissist thinks they are a gift from heaven above. The world owes them just for being there. They truly feel that they deserve special treatment for their “contributions” i.e. showing up and stealing the spotlight.
Their double standards though are another alarming narcissistic trait in males. If you are going to receive an award, they feel honestly that you are being given this award for being with them.
It is not what you did, you are getting awarded for being their pet and they feel they are the ones that did everything to get you that award.
The entitlement they feel fuels this narcissistic trait in the male though. They convince themselves that they are owed everything and their sense of entitlement circles with their superiority complex, knowing in their mind they are a gift to all and should be treated as a King.
6. Frequent Lying and Deception
A narcissist has no problem with reframing the truth. This could be exaggerating an accomplishment, to bending the truth, a little white lie, or outright straight up lying. This is a display of the narcissistic traits in men.
They will eventually believe this lie as the truth. So, stopping it early is key. But be aware of the other narcissistic trait in males lack of empathy. They may inflict pain if their ego is damaged.
They have to create these false narratives to ensure their control over their supply and their sense of self-importance and entitlement.
They need to spin the story that makes them the greatest of all time. It can’t just be in their mind. They need to be in everyone’s mind.
If you start to notice the truth is not something that is in conversations on a regular basis, you may want to start keeping a journal. Remember the narcissistic trait of manipulation. Keep your facts written down.
You are keeping your journal for you to compare your notes of what actually happened and what you are now being told about what happened. I also encourage recording conversations.
Again, not for the Narc. This is for you. You are not crazy, yes, they did that, said that, and now changed the narrative. And reminding yourself helps you to heal.
7. Exploitative Behavior: Using Others for Personal Gain
A narcissist has a need in them, they will take advantage of people emotionally, financially or socially to fill their needs. They are always looking for the next best thing, and you are just a tool that they are using to get there.
To a narcissist a relationship is more of a transaction. The timing depends on what they are getting and if their needs are being met. You are a supply to them not a partner.
A narcissist will literally go to an event with you, when you are getting recognized. They can make the entire night about them to where your recognition is so overshadowed you can believe you were wrong for the recognition you received, and feel like your narc was the one who should have recognized.
8. Extreme Sensitivity to Criticism (But No Problem Criticizing Others)
Now that you know how perfect the Narcissist is in their mind. Understand that if you attempt to critique their actions you will be met with rage and a temper tantrum. The narcissist is so in their own head that they can not process the truth.
Even constructive comments can be met with this same anger and even a silent treatment. They feel they are perfect. Nothing needs to be changed in them. This is a you problem, remember they believe they are perfect.
The strangest thing is if you give them feedback they get defensive, but they will be the first one to point out the exact same thing to someone else. They just can’t see flaws in themselves..
9. A Constant Need to Be the Center of Attention
When you are interacting with a true narcissist you will see the signs of them hijacking conversations or getting the spotlight onto them. You will also see this in their social media habits. Either counting each and every like or refusing to post on social media in fear that they will not get the love and admiration they know they are entitled to.
They crave the attention and spotlight at all times. If they see a supply of energy they can extract they are on it like a child seeking a piece of candy. It becomes like an addiction to being the center of the universe.
If they are posting on social media you can see the vanity in their posting and they are watching to make sure everyone they know is acknowledging them, admiring them, and they will know who is giving them what they need and who isn’t and it will be known if you forget to like or comment on a post.
10. Relationship Instability and Lack of Commitment
In the beginning of a relationship/transaction with a narcissist you will be love bombed to the point you think you are the center of the world. Then as time goes on and there is new supply available you will become just someone. Then the discard you becomes the crazy devil who lies. The strange thing is the new supply will eventually have the same story line.
A long term meaningful relationship is a struggle for a narcissist and if you can handle the abuse they will stay with you as long as you supply them. They checked out the first time they got attention from somewhere else, now you are the constant supply while they are getting other supply from other places.
In the beginning you were a feat they wanted to conquer. Once they conquered you and had control. You became the toy from Christmas that was everything they wanted. And when they are done with you they put you on the shelf for when they need you again.
I explain one of their tactics here: Narcissist and the Silent Treatment: How to Recognize, Respond and Reclaim Your Voice
11. Aggressive, Passive-Aggressive or Controlling Rage
As I reference it as the temper tantrum. The actual name of their outburst is narcissistic rage. But I like temper tantrums better, it seems more fitting and helps to lighten up what you are going through if you are on the receiving end of this treatment.
Narcissist rage is really the extreme form and combination of tactics that literally is every tool they have at its sharpest all coming at you. They will use the silent treatment, then guilt trip you, emotionally withdraw, sometimes even scream and shout, all the time embedding in your thoughts how everything in the world is your fault in some way shape or form.
These outbursts can destroy you emotionally and mentally and can even go to the extent of physical harm. Mine guided me through a suicide attempt, I thought he was just being helpful.
12. Jealousy, Envy, and an Obsession with Competition
I like to compare a narcissist to a kindergartener in their jealousy. They will see that Tommy has a nicer car so now Tommy is the enemy. It doesn’t matter the relationship with Tommy, all that matters is they need to be superior to Tommy.
Now if Jimmy gets a promotion or a form of success that the narcissist doesn’t have. This is now the new goal, they need to be the most successful. You always have to remember that they in their mind are the greatest of all time and no one should be recognized more than them.
If you get an award or a shiny start and they do not, know that you will need a backup plan to your success. They will make it their life’s mission to sabotage, undermine, or just belittle the person who dares to take the spotlight from them. That is just selfish to succeed beyond them.
Coping Strategies to Protect Yourself
Set Boundaries and stick to them, use the word “NO” it is ok to say even if it hurts their feelings you are protecting yours. And when you say it, mean it and stick to it.
Above all know the narcissistic traits in males so you are aware of what to watch for. are in defense mode when it comes to your thoughts.
And any thought you are having of giving in take the time to analyze it and determine if it is the manipulation or fact. Your feelings count as a fact. Each time you fall into one of their manipulations traps you are stepping further in, and it will get harder to escape.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to go no contact. It’s the detox of your mind. And clear the narcissistic traits of males that you have been subjected to.
Imagine that each time you are abused it takes a little piece of your brain and moves it. Your body and mind need time to heal from what you have gone through, and each contact will take that piece of your mind you’ve repaired already.
Do not try to escape on your own. Use resources like a therapist, coach, or support group, even social media. This is a battle in a large war and you need reinforcements to keep your mind clear and focused on healing.
Final Thoughts
The 12 narcissistic traits in males are again:
- Grandiose Sense of Self-Importance
- Lack of Empathy: Cold and Emotionally Detached
- Constant Need for Validation and Attention
- Manipulative and Controlling Behavior
- A Deep Sense of Entitlement
- Frequent Lying and Deception
- Exploitative Behavior: Using Others for Personal Gain
- Extreme Sensitivity to Criticism (But No Problem Criticizing Others)
- A Constant Need to Be the Center of Attention
- Relationship Instability and Lack of Commitment
- Aggressive, Passive-Aggressive or Controlling Rage
- Jealousy, Envy, and an Obsession with Competition
You are strong enough, and you are not crazy. That is what the narcissist wants you to believe because that is how they maintain their control over you. You have the strength to break free.
You may need some guidance, but you definitely have the strength.
I mean you’ve been abused by the narcissistic traits in males your entire relationship, and you made it through that, now you are going to use this superpower you have in you to make yourself happy.
The best way to win against narcissistic traits in males is to walk away and never look back. And enjoy your happiness you’ve earned it. And always be aware of the narcissistic traits in males:
If you recognize these signs or feel trapped in by narcissistic traits in males, please know that you’re not alone – and it’s not your fault.
Your healing journey matters, and support is available. Visit themarymcconnell.com for free educational resources, recovery tools, and a community of survivors who understand exactly what you’re going through.
For immediate help: • National Domestic Violence Hotline:https://www.thehotline.org/ | Call 1-800-799-7233 • Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988
Your voice matters. If you have additional resources that have helped you, please share them in the comments below – together we can create a network of support for everyone who needs it.
Have you dealt with a narcissist? Your story could help someone else recognize the signs or feel less alone. Share your experience in the comments if you feel comfortable doing so.
Remember: You deserve love that feels safe, not chaotic. You deserve respect, not manipulation. You deserve healing, and it’s possible. 💙
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