Ever wondered how does the narcissist feel when you move on and finally break free from their control? When you escape a narcissistic relationship, their reaction reveals everything about their true nature.
So how does the narcissist feel when you move on, You were their only grip to what emotions are and now they are lost.
The narcissist's primary fuel is the control they maintain over you. So how does the narcissist feel when you move on, they meticulously crafted this control to manipulate you into fulfilling their needs.
When you break free, their entire emotional ecosystem completely collapses, triggering an almost predictable and dangerous sequence of events and reactions.
This comprehensive guide explores the narcissist's emotional response when you reclaim your independence and how to protect yourself during this critical transition.
Part of the fuel that feeds the Narcissist is the control they have. They use control to manipulate you into doing what they want and need from you. They don’t know how to function without controlling you and all situations involving you.
How does the Narcissist feel when you move on? What's in their mindset?
I want you to fully understand what is happening to the narcissist and the tools that help you and what to expect. The reaction you think you’ll get isn’t always what you will get. This is a whole new level of narcissism that is rarely seen.
I'll share my expertise as a coach and a survivor of narcissistic abuse to help you understand what happens in the narcissist's mind when you move on, the tactics they'll deploy to regain control and how to protect your newfound freedom.
Why Narcissists Hate Losing Control
So how does the narcissist feel when you move on, It's not about heartbreak, it's about power! When you move on the narcissist feels the loss of control and will start to feel exposed and irrelevant. They can't handle that.
The narcissist needs to feel validated and in control, this is how they survive. It’s commonly referred to as their “supply”. They are not capable of surviving without constant supply, it’s like asking you to live without food, water, and air.
They will literally choke if their ego is damaged. This is why they keep you trapped. And guilt tripping is one of the tools they use when they realize they can’t survive without you. And need to get you back into your place supplying them.
When you move on, you have now taken their power. They don’t know what to do without their power. It would be easier to ask them to give up walking or driving to give you controlling you. They will go any means necessary to keep this power.
The Narcissist’s Initial Reaction: Shock & Denial
How does the narcissist initially feel when you move on: shock and denial honestly.
One of the biggest shocking discoveries is learning how the narcissist feels when you move on, it's a devastating ego blow that they didn't see coming.
You have to come back to them in their mind. You are not capable of living without them in their mind. They do not initially realize the power they believe they have is actually your power they are holding onto it as the control.
You will receive the pleasure of enduring some of the common tactics used like love bombing, you might get flowers or a nice dinner, or even a compliment. guilt-tripping , how can you do this to everyone, not just them. Or Gaslighting, you must be crazy to think you are leaving them.
One of the thoughts they are having is that you are just playing hard to get. This is their way of justifying in their mind why you would think you didn’t want to be with them. That can’t be true. You just want a little extra attention.
Understanding how the narcissist feels when you move on is crucial for your healing journey
Rage and Retaliation: The Narcissist’s Fury Unleashed
The narcissist not being in control of you means that you have found your independence. In their mind you are dependent on them not them on you.
How does the narcissist feel when you move on? Their emotional response typically follows a predictable pattern of manipulation and blame shifting.
So this is threatening their control, meaning you might actually think for yourself and if you do that you might see the reality instead of the world they’ve created.
The hardest part of this is the smear campaign they launch against you. Personally I apparently snorted cocaine, lived a risky lifestyle, I was mentally unstable with bi-polar disease, and now.
I think the newest one I’ve heard is that I am not stable enough to make my own decisions. I started looking forward to hearing what I was up to. I thought I just worked, lived and wrote. But this other me sounds kind of fun.
(I’m totally kidding, not about the rumors though)
The cycle is where it gets really entertaining if you can stomach it. I get told one day I’m unable to handle my own affairs and within 3 days I'm being demanded to complete a task that they can not do.
It is no longer my responsibility to take care of this. It’s my responsibility to take care of me not take care of you, for the record saying this to a narc does anger a narcissist.
Desperation & Hoovering: Their Last-Ditch Efforts
Understanding how the narcissist feels when you move on can prepare you for the manipulation tactics, they'll use to reel you back in.
The term hoover actually yes does refer to the vacuum. They are going to try to suck you in any way they can. It may be a fake apology, a grand gesture like a vacation or nice dinner, or even threats, like take care of this or I’m going to take you to court.
Some victims will fall for their tactics after enough emotional manipulation a victim can start to develop a trauma bond. They start believing what the narcissist says is the way the world works. And if you are in this state you are going to fall right back into their web of manipulation.
You need to study their behavior and learn all you can to identify their behaviors and tactics so that you can prepare yourself with a solid defense plan. This is a good time to ask for help from a professional, especially for the support.
The Silent Treatment & Fake Indifference
When they show you their rage and you still will not come back to them, they don’t know what else to do so the next step is to pretend you don’t matter. They basically sit you in the corner and ignore you like you’re a child in time out.
In this day and age social media is everywhere and everyone is on it. You will see posts that make it appear that life is better without you, maybe even pics with the new supply. This is a new tactic they have to try out to see if they play hard to get if you will chase them.
This is all just another manipulation tactic they are using to try to regain control of you. Hoping that you will come groveling back begging for forgiveness for having left them in the first place, and if you do go back, go back knowing that the next time will be worse.
Read more in [Narcissist and the Silent Treatment: How to Recognize, Respond and Reclaim Your Voice](https://themarymcconnell.com/blog/narcissist-and-t%25E2%2580%25A6silent-treatment/%2520%25E2%2580%258E)
How the Narcissist Truly Feels Inside: The Hidden Truth
Keep in mind they are busy right now. Not only do they need to manipulate and control you. They also need to work super hard at hiding their shame of the failed relationship, their emptiness of being alone, and their self-loathing of realizing maybe what they did wasn’t ok.
They have survived off of you and your “supply” for the entire relationship and now they are feeling the real fear of being irrelevant and possibly not having their needs met, with their supply possibly leaving. This can be overwhelming for them.
They are so confused that all they know is that they need their needs met. While they may replace you quickly, know that it will be repeated as well/ They can only fake who they are for so long and eventually the new supply is going to catch on just as you did.
When creating your exit strategy, resources like [the National Domestic Violence Hotline](https://www.thehotline.org/) can provide crucial guidance and support.
The Power of Moving On: Why You Win
OMG. The emotional transformation and freedom you grow in you after the abuse stops is amazing. It’s hard to explain though. During the abuse you go through all these negative emotions. But the first time you feel an actual belly laugh. You will understand. It is a thing.
Breaking the trauma bond and healing is a whole process. But each day make at least one step towards separating yourself. And try not to think about how does the narcissist feel.
I have days where all I have the strength to do is change 1 password, but I also have days where I go on a date with someone new after 30 years of not dating. You do what you can each day, but don’t force yourself, let your emotions set the pace.
No matter what pace you move forward, just keep moving forward. You are single handedly taking down the Berlin wall one brick at a time. This wall was holding you in under their control and not allowing you to be you and see how amazing you are.
When you get their knowledge that they knew all along you could do it. They just didn’t want to be in second position to someone as wonderful as you.
While you're healing, the narcissist feels increasingly desperate when you move on successfully and will not stop trying to sabotage you be prepared.
How to Protect Yourself & Stay No Contact
I know you are probably tired of hearing no contact, black rock, etc. I was too. I kept saying what about discussions about the kids, business, home. I justified it for a long time, but I never healed until I went no contact.
I now understand the true power this tool gives you and plead with you to at least try it. If you don’t feel better emotionally after 1 week of no contact then you may just need more time but the relief of the pain does come, timing is different for everyone.
When you block the narcissist it is setting the first of many boundaries you will need to set to cut the emotional tie, end the trauma bond and truly be able to move on to healing. When you feel the need to set a boundary, set it, you can change it later if you want, but not if the narcissist wants.
If the narcissist wants you to change it, absolutely do it, 180 degrees the opposite direction they want. You are winning and they don’t want that.
Tp rebuild your life after you get through this part, and even while you are going through this stage. Keep learning from what hurts you or upsets you. You are building the new you. You can make yourself anyone you want to be. Try new things. Never knew how much I liked hummus until I lived alone.
Read more in [How to Expose a Narcissist Safely Without Falling Into Their Trap](https://themarymcconnell.com/blog/how-to-expose-a-narcissist/)
Final Thoughts
How does the narcissist feel when you move on. Who cares, you need to move forward with you. You are cutting ties and completely doing something outside of your comfort zone and it will be hard.
But I promise it will be worth it. Yes, even the nights you are ugly crying with a bottle of wine. Thinking how does the narcissist feel, It does get better with time. Is it ever perfect I don’t know yet. But I know it’s better every day.
Know that you are always strong. I know you feel like a lump, it’s ok. It gets better but you have to power through the bad times.
And when you think how does the narcissist feel when you move on, think about how many times they thought about your feelings, you start feeling better real fast after that realization.
Believe it or not you are strong enough to do this. You have been strong enough to manage life while being abused, you can manage life without abuse, the process of stopping it will challenge you but you can do it.
You’ve been fighting all along you were just manipulated into believing you were just compensating for your shortcomings, you were training for now. So don't let how the narcissist feels now that you moved on affect your decisions.
When you power through the pain this is the happiness the narcissist was keeping you from and once you feel it for the first time it’s like heroin you will not be able to get enough.
This is where the real power changes hands. You now make yourself happy. It’s not your job anymore to worry about how does the narcissist feel. Now you've moved on.
Knowing how the narcissist feels when you move on isn't the key to protecting yourself emotionally. Maintaining no contact is. As you start to regain your power, they start to lose their grip, and this is their biggest fear.
If you're wondering how the narcissist feels when you move on and need support during your healing journey. Visit[themarymcconnell.com](https://themarymcconnell.com/) for free education, recovery resources, and a supportive community ready to help you break free and heal.
Have you dealt with a narcissist? Share your experience in the comments below!